27/12/2021
4:30 pm
Dear my loving Allah..
Why am I always sick? I've been spending so much money to be healthy, but I'm still sick. Am I too bad to be healthy? I tried to do ibadah to You as best as I could even I always failed.
Why am I so weak? I couldn't stand alone. I couldn't do anything by my self.
I tried to do everything as best as I could.
I tried to have an ideal body but ended got problem with my intestine system. My womb.
Now, Headache, so pain then hypertension.
I HATE my self.
Ok, I'm crying now.
I can't cry. My eyes will be swollen immediately. I will get headache.
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
I HATE MY SELF.
Forgive me Rahman, but I'm giving up.
Everything is just pain on me now. My head, my eyes, my heart..
I'm tired.
I'm truly tired.
I'm giving up.
I'm sad.
I'm crying.
