Titles are Overrated

Part 170

You don't understand.

I'm terrified,

all the time.

I don't want to hurt

your feelings -

I buried all of mine

away.

I love you,

I truly think I do.

The last thing I want

is to be the person

who says 

'that's why I'm doing this'

and takes your heart

in my hand

and crushes it

because 'I love you'.

I'm afraid

that I already have.

You know I didn't mean to,

right?

I thought perhaps

I was ready,

and perhaps I am

but I am far too afraid

to admit it.

Too afraid to try.

I did,

didn't I?

I let you hold me and yes,

I felt safe,

but it doesn't take away

the fear.

Deep down.

I don't know if it's me

or if it's you.

I think that is what

I must figure out on my own.

I have to go into

my own dark caves,

find the monsters there.

You cannot follow,

not unless

you want to be devoured.

Love isn't meant to be

like this -

I'm not sure how it's meant to be

just yet.

You'll let me go,

won't you?

I could come back,

but don't wait for me.

I'll stitch yours

and my heart up

as best as I can

before I go.

I'll love you and leave you in ruins