Italy In The Spring [h.s]

8

an: howdy! make sure you read chapter 7 before this one. i updated in the span of 24 hours, so i don't want you lovelies to miss anything </3

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Everything is silent between us again.

And this time, it's more on Harry's side than me.

I'm still shaking and having to fight off tears even though it's been ten minutes since we left town. The man refused to put the dress on display and is keeping it stocked away in case I change my mind and want to buy it. I broke down while taking it off and had to sit in the dressing room for an extra five minutes to calm myself down.

"I'm sorry," I breathe, cringing at the brokenness of my voice. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that for flirting with her."

He doesn't reply.

"And I'm sorry for hurting you so much today. I know it's not fair to you in any way at all, and I let it go too far the second I stepped into that store and tried on that dress," I continue and wipe away a silent tear that escaped from my eye.

Still no reply.

"I hate hurting you, Harry," my voice is weak and my head hangs down. "All I'm doing is making mistake after mistake, and all it's doing is hurting everyone around me. You told me to find happiness, but it's starting to feel like I found it in the wrong way."

Silence.

Tears pour silently down my cheeks, "I'm hurting Timmy by allowing myself to become something I haven't been in years. I'm hurting you by being the person I am now... I don't even recognize myself now. I thought I fixed it. I thought I fixed my fucked up ways and became the person I needed to be."

More silence.

"I'm a mess," I laugh sarcastically, shaking my head at myself. "I mean, this morning I had an argument with Timothée over something so incredibly stupid. I hurt him, and I did it on purpose. I wanted to inflict pain on someone else because of all the emotions I'm keeping bottled up inside."

It feels as if I'm talking to myself at this point, but I don't stop.

"What I'm trying to say is, I know this isn't the person you want to be around at the moment and this isn't the person you wanted me to become. I know that. This isn't who I want to be," I run my hands through my hair, not even bothering to wipe away my tears at this point. "God, at this point, I just fucking hate myself. I hate myself for doing this to you and Timmy-"

"Stop."

My blood freezes, his voice going octaves deeper than I've ever heard it go before. I sit frozen as he pulls the car onto the side of the road and turns off the engine, refusing to look up even though I can feel his burning hot gaze on me.

"Look at me," he speaks again, his voice still unbelievably deep. "Now, Aurora."

I look up at him, tears of his own pooling in his eyes. "Why do you even love me anymore? It's technically been three years since we've been together, and you still look at me the same way you always have. Scratch that, you look at me like you've somehow found it in you to love me even more," my voice is desperate, filled with questions that are dying for answers. "Why, Harry? Why do you still love me even though I'm with someone else?"

"Haven't you realized by now?" He whispers, eyes staring straight at me and only me.

"Realized what?"

He rakes his hand down his face, tears now freely streaming down his cheeks. His eyes flick down at his lap, twisting a ring around his finger that I recognize to be the one I used to wear. My heart breaks in my chest.