tw: slight angst; toxic relatives; gas lighting
it's funny just how fast the days are passing these days. mark can still remember how he heard it in the news that christmas is coming, just 100 days more. and now, it's the day.
it's not that he hated that it's christmas already but he hated how after this day, he'll have to wait for another year again. and that sucks.
"faster, mark. we'll be late!" her mom screamed. albeit having those thoughts, he's still excited that he'd be able to meet his other relatives. naturally, he hurried and went to his mom.
oh, to be super excited for what's to come.
"how was your study, minhyung?" one of his aunt casually asked while eating on a long table.
"he's fine. graduating," his mom answered for him.
mark gulped the spaghetti he's eating, to say that he is nervous is an understatement.
"that's great. how was your grades? it's crucial because you'll be needing them for your college applications. oh, speaking of, the big universities already opened their admissions. have you started applying?" his aunt probed further, "also, what's your course? you see, your cousin taeyong is in architecture and your other older cousins are in medical field. and it's actually great."
there are too much questions and he can't handle the pressure. and for this time that he wished that his mom will answer for him is when his mother chosed not to.
the silence was suffocating.
"uh," he started, "i'm taking ab communication and yes, i already applied."
"oh, communication. you want to be a journalist? that's cool!"
mark gulped again, "uh, no. but i wanted to be a film production crew-"
"but there is no money in film," one uncle butted in, "and a crew you say? who would bother looking at the ending credits of a movie. i wouldn't. and i even doubt they will write your name there. do you want that?"
who knew a silent atmosphere can be more silent that a gulp by mark again was clearly heard.
"it is fine for you when people can't see your efforts or importance?"
of course not. especially right now that they are literally doing it to him as of the moment.
it is because of the type of people like them that film is an underrated course, and a career as a whole.
but really, he has been experiencing this everywhere though.
you know. being that one insignificant one.
he remember how in every groupings, he would always be the one saying yes every time because he can't be the one to decide for it. how every group picking, he'll be the last one to be chosen because he's never the first choice of people. well, to be fair, he's not really that kind of person to socialize because he's an introvert.
and now, he's questioning himself again. he have been wanting to feel validated, will this dream of him make he feel like it? or will he, again, be invalidated again?
when will he be significant? when will he be a big use?
*
yay. hahahah. remember guys that you are valid. no matter what you do, whether small or big, it's still significant. a 100 peso bill can not possibly be 100 if not for that one peso coin, right? also, there is no small roles, only smol beannie cute people like me, i guess.
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