Castles in the Sky...Quackity x Reader

Chapter 12: Aching for Alex

TRIGGER WARNING
Towards the end of the chapter I talk a lot about bodies, and eating disorders. If that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to skip. If you or someone you know if struggling with an eating disorder, feel free to text me. And if someone you love is going through one, just be there for them. I understand how hard they are to have, just be there, and make sure they eat plenty of snacks when their bodies need it. Eating disorders come in different ways, make sure you're accurate on your method of helping them. <3 there's some phone numbers at the bottom of this chapter you should call if you're struggling with an Eating Disorder I'm begging you to call, if you feel like you need help.

Y/N was curled around her space heater, she was on her phone online shopping. She loves to online shop for herself, but today it was for someone else. It was for Alex. She knew his birthday was drawing near. She figured if she wanted it to arrive in time, she better start shopping early.

She wonders what he'd like. New headphones, a new mouse? But then she remembered what he really needed. A new microphone. He uses it to game, and talk with his friends over discord. She looks through all the different microphones, and finds the best one. It was pricey, but worth it for him.

She shivers and turns up the heat. She had on socks, a sweatshirt, pajama pants. She was covered in warm clothing. But she couldn't shake that ache. The ache you get when you're cold, it's deep in your bones, and won't stop unless you're buried in a mountain of blankets, step into a hot shower, or when you're cuddling someone.

The only thing Y/N remembers fondly about her ex boyfriend was how warm it was when they cuddled. But that wasn't special, it's that warm when you snuggle anyone. For example, Alex would be just as good at snuggling up to when you're cold.

She blushed at the idea of them that close. It would keep her warm. And Alex smells really good. Having his arms around her tightly, being perched on his lap delicately, a blanket surrounding the two. She felt her face heat up as her thought became more specific.

Her hands up his shirt to keep them warm, placing them on his chest. Her legs wrapped around his mid section, squeezing him tight. His hands wrapped around her waist.

She covers her mouth once she realizes what she's thinking. It was nothing dirty, but definitely something more intimate than what friends do.
She likes Alex more than a friend, she's come to the realization. She's known since the night she gamed with him and Tommy.
She remembers it vividly

She glances over at Alex, the room was dark, so the glow from the TV shines on his face.

He had little moles on his face, cute
Wait cute?
Well they were cute, it isn't weird to think that your friend is cute right? Like it's a platonic attraction. He's just attractive, it's a lie to say he's not

She knew ever since then he wasn't just a friend in her eyes anymore. His hair was always messy, and his eyes were like down-durned almonds, they were deep and loving. His skin was a beautiful olive tone, with little moles scattered across his face. They trail down his neck, speckle his arms. She wondered if he had moles anywhere else? She wanted to see every mole, freckle, and scar that was on his body. She wanted to feel his warmth. Even just sitting next to him she could always feel how warm he was, it radiates off him.

It would be so comfortable to just lay in his arms. Counting each mole on his body.
She knew Alex was insecure about his body in the past. And still slightly is. But she had no idea why. He wasn't overweight, and even if he was he would still be the same Alex. He showed her photos of him when he was younger, and she thought they were adorable. She didn't see his weight as a bad thing, he just had baby fat.

Y/N smiles at the thought of a young Alex. She knew he got bullied for his weight. But Y/N never understood why the way somebody's body looked was something to comment on. Her body wasn't perfect, and neither was anybody else's. But no body looks the same, so why deem one perfect?
It made no sense, but she knew everyone was perfect in their own way.

Alex was no different. He's struggled with eating for a long time. He would skip meals a lot to stay thin, all because some brats planted the idea his body wasn't good enough. Anytime he even gains a pound he freaks out and asks Y/N if he looks any different. Y/N always reassured him he was her friend no matter what, if he lost a pound or gained a pound it made no difference.

She knows he still skips meals sometimes. And she will admit she's proud of him for losing some of the weight in a healthy way. Eating better and being active is the best way to do it, but starvation isn't the way. Your hair could fall out, your muscles get weak, you become so sickly you can't even eat without feeling nauseous. It's tortuous to your body. Y/N would never want someone she loves to go through such a thing.

And as much as she was embarrassed to admit, she loved Alex more than just a friend. But regardless of her type of love, love is still love. Regardless of their relationship status, she makes sure Alex eats when he's hungry.

She'll bring him cookies she baked, leftover dinner she cooked, she buys snacks he likes and keeps them around her apartment to make sure he eats when he's there. Sometimes he has excuses like the infamous 'I'm not hungry, I just ate' or 'Eh, there's no snacks here I really eat, I'll eat when I'm home.'
When he says he's not hungry she encourages him to at least get a drink of water. When he says there's no snacks he likes, she opens her snack cabinet, he can't say no when she specifically bought the snacks for him.

She sighs, she's going down a loophole now. She worries about him a lot, especially with his self-image issues. She hasn't even seen him without a shirt on, he always wears oversized T-shirts' or sweatshirts. But she knows his body is perfect the way it is. She blushed slightly as she imagined him without it. She'd like to see him without it, it was embarrassing to admit.

She feels that stabbing cold ache in her bones again and cuddles up to her space heater more. She wished Alex was here to keep her warm. She wants to give into her desires and crawl onto his lap, she wants to stay warm in his embrace. The pain in her bones was calling out for warmth. It ached deep inside her. She's aching for Alex.

She looks over at her phone, that still had Amazon pulled up on the screen. She grabs her phone and decides to see what's on TikTok for the day, she desperately needs to clear her mind. And endless scrolling is a great way to do that.
Immediately a familiar song starts playing from one of the videos. Just the Two of Us by Bill Withers and Grover Washington, Jr. She remembers when her and Alex got coffee for the first time, after their awkward first meeting. She remembers when the radio was on, and this same song was playing.

And darling when the morning comes
And I see the morning sun
I wanna be the one with you
Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building big castles way on high
Just the two of us
You and I

Eating Disorder Help

Alsana
(866) 234-2024

Eating Recovery Center
(720) 928-3605

National Eating Disorders
(800) 931-2237