My Salvation

01.

Chapter 1 | New beginnings

Camila's POV:

Numb.

It's a noun used to describe feeling nothing. Everything just feels dull, like there's no hope for anything, like the worlds crashing down and you can't take it anymore. That's exactly how I feel.

My head rests against the window in the backseat of yet another child protection service workers car. Raindrops race down the window, slowly parting ways, creating their own paths of independence.

Its funny really, watching them repeatedly drop onto the window, and separate. Once they reach the bottom of the window, they die. So, what's the point? I guess that's everyone's situation, they're created, they're connected to other people, they separate, struggle, then die. It's the same with everybody and everything. Some might have it better than others, but we'll all struggle, and we'll all die.

Death. That's a funny thing too, it's something that you work your whole life for. The end goal in life. I mean sure, you could start a family, live a successful and happy life, but what's that really for? You live a good life so that you can die happy, or, on the other hand, you could live an incredibly shitty life, but you'd still die. It happens to everything in the world. So, why die at old age?

The only thing keeping me alive is my younger siblings. And to be fair, I've been the only one keeping them alive since I was twelve. I guess its always been my "main reason" in life. I mean sure, I could go to college after I graduate high school, get an amazing job that will set me up for the rest of my life, but who knows if I'll live that long. That's the thing though, will I live that long? I suppose that's for me to decide.

I stare out of the window, looking out at the blurred figures and shapes at the car zooms on the road. I blast music through my earbuds, blocking out the sounds of my siblings squabbling and fighting over whose turn it was at saying "eye spy".

These car rides have become more and more familiar over the years. Its endless really, couples and families want to foster my siblings and I, we go to them for a little while, they treat us like bullshit, and we get sent to another one. Or, they decide they can't handle three kids, that's happened several times too. Thankfully we haven't been separated yet. If we had been, I don't know what I would do.

Off we go to a new foster home. Hopefully this one will be better than the others, the lady who finds all our foster homes, Katy, says that these people are nice. That's what she said about the last fifteen other homes. Oh well, if its another shitty one, CPS will find out and send us to a new one. An endless cycle. It's pointless really. We get out hopes up just to be sent away once again. But hey, disappointment is apart of life, right?

My thoughts come to a stop, as does our car. Doors quickly open, following by my siblings rushing out of the car to get fresh air and stretch after our extremely boring and long car ride. I hop out of the car and walk over to the trunk to grab our bags, which Katy helps me with. I shield my head with my hoodie, trying not to get too wet, however, I can't say the same for Maria.

"Maria! Stop rolling on the grass, you're going to get all wet and covered in dirt!" Katy yells, causing a fit of giggles to erupt from my younger sister, and yes, she's already soaking wet and covered in dirt. She gets pulled up by my brother, who is holding a crazy number of bags. This boy is fourteen, how is he that strong? Shaking my head, I follow Katy and my siblings towards the large house that stands in front of me.

It's nice. Nicer than most of the houses we've lived in previously. Two stories, windows, a large front yard, so I'm assuming there's a large back yard too. White walls, a garden full of flowers, its at the end of a charming little col-de-sac. Its picture perfect to say the least, which means the couple we are about to go live with are either going to be actually nice and will create a safe environment for us, or this is all a gimmick, and they'll be mentally and or physically abusive like almost every other home we've been in.