Out of your mind

The day I fell in love with a boy who I didn't like (Part 2)

It's the next day after I saw Cole yesterday. Madison left for school early with her other school friends. So I have to drive alone to school, which kind of sucks. I have Geography on second period, so I'm very excited to see Cole again! He's been glued in my mind ever since we were in the project together from yesterday.

I reach school and go to my locker to grab my English material for my first class. I sit next to Madison in English class. Cole isn't in the same English class as me, he's only in a few of my classes. After writing so much, English ends and I rush to my locker and replace my English material for my Geography material. After getting my things, I hurried to the nearest girls bathroom to fix my hair and makeup by looking at the mirror. Then, I went straight to Geography class.

I open the classroom door and see that almost all seats are full. I scan through the groups of students and see Cole at the back table. Suddenly my feet start moving toward his table and I sit down on the chair beside him.

"Hi Jenna!," I hear him say.

"Hey....Cole," I say dryly, trying my best to not give an impression of the fact that I like him. His name is very beautiful to hear, why didn't I notice that before?

"So, let's finish the project?"

"Yeah, let's finish it...."

He starts to write the date down on the paper, I'm trying to be careful that he doesn't see me staring at him.

He turns to me and I turn my head the other way, oh shoot, I think he caught me. "Are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you...."

"Yeah I'm fine", I mumble, but underneath me I'm thinking about how respectful he is, perfect boyfriend material if you ask me.

We go through some pages of writing where sometimes I'm writing or I'm lost in thought just staring at him. We stopped for a few minutes in between, where Cole was handing me the paper and I was day dreaming and he began trying to get my attention.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps behind us, Cole and I both turn around. Ms. Cherith looks at us disappointed for some reason. 

"Jenna and Cole, I'm not sure if you're even working on your project, it seems as if you're goofing around. I am going to switch your partners right now. Don't worry I will allow you to submit the project a little late."

I'm sure she thought we were goofing around when Cole was trying to get my attention, ugh I'm so stupid!

In defense Cole says, "Ms. Cherith, we are working on the project, I don't know who told you that we were goofing."

"Sorry Cole, but it seems like you guys are goofing so I'm partnering you with Madison and Jenna with Madison's previous partner Sarah."

Suddenly, I see Madison walk up in front of us. I was very disappointed but I don't say a word. After all, I don't want give any clues to Cole that I have interest in him.

I get up from my seat and get seated where Madison was previously sitting, which is beside Sarah. Then, Madison sits in my seat next to Cole. She waves at me and I try not to frown. 

Sarah and I choose to do London. Sarah didn't want to do Paris because she has went to the UK many times and she loves it so much so she insisted that she had to do it. I didn't really mind because I just wanted this to be over with.

After class ends, I hurry to my next classes where Madison and I are not in the same class.

I have lunch now and Madison seems all excited, I wonder why....

"Madison what happened? Your mood is so energetic today.."

"Oh, nothing really.. I was just wondering about who I might like.."

"Well, who do you like?", I say keenly.

"Well, I'm not sure yet. I'll tell you later when my mind has thought everything through."

"Ok, but tell me anything that might be worrying you. I don't want you having mental breakdowns."

"Of course I will! You're my number one option!"

I have my last class of the day, Algebra, after lunch. I have algebra class with the higher level students, that's why Madison and Cole aren't in the same class as me. I finish algebra class and then I went to the library to check out some books.

After school, I go to my locker. I meet Madison beside my locker eager to get something out of her mouth. She decides to tell me inside in the car.... I'm pretty sure it has to do with her liking someone....

We get inside my car and I start the engine. "So, you know that Cole and I have almost all classes together? 

"Yeah, go ahead. Tell me more....", I say, even though I know where this is going.

"So until today, he was just a friend...."

"Ok?", I say frantically trying not to panic thinking that she has a crush on him.

"So.. I think... like since we're in the same group together now..."

"...."

"I think I've fallen for him.... is that okay with you?"

Almost instantly, I feel sorry for myself, a tear drops from my eye and thoughts come into my mind where Cole isn't paying attention to me but his eyes are always on Madison. I nod to Madison and say yeah when I should have said the opposite. Madison jumps in excitement.

If I'm honest, Madison is everyone's crush, so Cole will definitely fall for her. I don't want to make things complicated between us because she is my best friend, so I will try not to get jealous... Neither ever like Cole, I am inclined to hate him!

I drop Madison off but I can't seem to get Cole off my mind, I can't do this, not with me staring and thinking about Cole twenty-four hours.

I reach my house and park my car in the garage. I open the front door, I see my mom.

"Hello sweetie, what's wrong?" 

My face shows it all, my mom is my mom after all, she knows something is off.

"Nothing really, just some drama. I have to do some school work..." I go past her and start going upstairs to my bedroom.

My mom turns around to look at me, "Ok, but if you need anything just tell me, I'm always here for you.."

"Thanks mom." I go back downstairs and hug her very tight. Then I go up the stairs again. I reach my room and change into my clothes, then I wrote this in my diary:

Dear Diary,

The fact that love is always complicated makes me think why do I even think of it, besides what am I getting from it aside from extra pleasure? Anyways, I'm thinking like this because I have got to know that Madison likes Cole too, but I love him! I can't deny my feelings for him for one second, but I don't want my best friend to feel bad either, I don't think I should tell her. I will allow my heart to be broken but especially not hers. I will try to hate him, I will try to just brush off my feelings so I no longer like him. I know that some part of me will always love him but I'll do my best to deny it!