oh, i gotta get next to you,
but you're so far away,
searching for a heart another world away...
DRAFTED: Dec. 23rd, 2021
ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ 2 ᴍᴏɴᴛʜꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴘᴇᴀᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏʀɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ, ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴍɪꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ɪ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴡ ᴡᴇ'ᴅ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ꜱᴏ ᴅɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀꜱ ꜰᴀꜱᴛ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇ'ᴅ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ꜱᴏ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ. ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ ɪ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʏᴏᴜ.
ᴍʏ ᴀɴxɪᴇᴛʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏᴏɴ ᴀꜱ ɪ ꜱᴀᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ꜱɪɢɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ ɪ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʙɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ. ɪ'ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟ, ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴀɴ ᴄɪʀᴄʟᴇꜱ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ᴡᴇʟʟ-ʙᴇɪɴɢ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ɢʀᴀᴛᴇꜰᴜʟ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴀꜱ ʟᴏʏᴀʟ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀꜱ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ.
ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴍᴏᴍ, ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ. ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜱᴏ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ɪɴꜱᴇᴄᴜʀɪᴛɪᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱʜᴀᴍᴇꜰᴜʟ ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛꜱ ᴀɢᴀɪɴꜱᴛ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʙᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴍᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴅᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀꜱᴛ ᴡᴀʏ, ꜱᴏ ɪ ʙᴇᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜ. ɪ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴇꜱꜱᴜʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇᴀɴꜱ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪɴ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪ ᴄʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ.
ɪ ᴀᴍ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ɪꜱ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ʟᴇᴀʀɴɪɴɢ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ, ꜱᴏ ᴜɴꜰᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ꜰɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴏɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ꜰɪʟʟ. ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ, ꜱᴏ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ. ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ɪꜱ ᴍᴇ.
ɪᴛ'ꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴇᴀꜱʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴅᴀᴘᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ɪᴛꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴠᴇʀʏ ɪɴᴛɪᴍɪᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ. ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴇ ᴜꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ. ɪᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴘᴀɪɴꜱ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟʏ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ʙᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ. ɪ'ʟʟ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ ꜱᴏ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪɴꜱᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴇᴍᴘᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴏꜰꜰᴇʀ.
ɪ'ʟʟ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴍʏ ᴡᴀʏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ.
- ʟᴏʏᴀʟᴛʏ
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𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ⭢ 𝖬𝖩
Fanfiction"all of your biggest fears are in the one place you can't escape.. your mind." ••• Loyalty Hendrix is eighteen years old, with blurry goals in life. Her mind has always been detached from the rest of the world due to the constant personal and mental...
