𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ⭢ 𝖬𝖩

❦ fourteen.

: i know you ain't a drug, but you get me so high :
༄

☁️ Loyalty ☁️

"Hand me the butter out the fridge, please, ma'am," Michael's mom, Katherine, spoke to me as Janet and I were in the kitchen helping her make Michael and Janet a birthday breakfast. Janet had told me that their mom wanted me to join them, which I thought was the sweetest so I didn't hesitate to take her up on the offer.

Today wasn't actually their birthday, in fact it was Friday and the twins' birthday was Sunday—but CJ starts school at Spelman the following Monday, so we had to make somethin' work in favor of her. The night Michael and Marlon got into it was also the night I finally found the courage to finally tell CJ I was gon' skip the extra education, which was already obvious since I hadn't brought it up all damn Summer.

Her exact response was, "Loyalty, it's all good! You ain't gotta lie to ya best friend, girl, it's okay if you don't wanna go". Which led to us having a sappy girl talk about endlessly anxious 'bout growing up, and how high school flew by.

I think we cried once or twice and Reese called us sissies, while Michael laughed like it was the funniest thing he's ever heard. Who even says sissies still?

Just 'cuz I wasn't good at change doesn't mean I won't have to endure it at some point—and I wanna be prepared.

Anyway, Janet had informed her parents how we booked an Air BnB for the weekend, which I was surprised that we were able to do since it was pretty last minute. Like, two days in advance, last minute—but Reese and CJ pitched in with helpin' me pay for it so in the end it all worked out I guess.

Usually, Katherine always makes sure her kids wake up to somethin' on their birthdays, even if it was something as simple as a breakfast. Either way, she went all out for it.

She talked to me about how while Michael, Janet, and Marlon were growing up they'd always adore family traditions but once high school hit they slowly started to grow out of it, and each other. Which I could tell saddened her, 'cuz Joseph (their dad) jus' described it as "them becoming their own person" but I think even when growing up, you could still make time for your family.

I mean, I wouldn't make time for my family, but you get the gist.

Michael always tells me his family isn't as great as they seem when I'm around, so of course I'll never know firsthand what he means. I've witnessed them argue plenty of times, once in October during senior year I actually saw Michael and Marlon get into a fist fight, which Reese, CJ, and I quickly had to break up.

I've seen Michael get upset before, be irritated, and whatnot. But seeing him fight is, like, a whole 'nother different thing. That day when he fought Marlon I just saw tons of pent up anger towards him be unleashed, which was kinda scary in a way. But also weirdly intriguing... don't quote me on that.

Janet sometimes tells me that when the three of 'em were younger, Michael and Marlon were closer than her and Michael which sparked small hints of envy. Them bein' twins 'nd all, she thought she would be able to call her brother her best friend, but now even though Michael don't even fuck wit' Marlon like that anymore, she said it feels like Michael's shutting her out still.

I can't relate to Janet's perspective at all, 'cuz I shut my brother out a lot, too. I know Kam means well and he tries to keep the peace between my mama and me, but it jus' seems like he nonverbally rubs it in my face that he actually has the love of my mother.