Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.
But for Michael, it isn't.
For someone who doesn't see a reason to celebrate love at Christmas time, Michael just finds himself having a 30-day countdown to Christmas, for no reason.
Or, he just did...
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Today, I felt, the most agonizing pain and suffering I had in maybe, years of existence.
It is different from the random headaches and body pains I was experiencing the past few weeks. This time, everything remained as a memory in my head. It was like a nightmare. That every weakening of the body cells was just an implied one but my mind is feeding me with real pain.
It was like a placebo that I believe it is real because I believe it is real. Because there is something in my mind that I know that it is real. But the truth, there is no real thing. It was just an intervention. It has no meaningful value.
But why I felt that way? That I thought, I was going to die any second. It was like I was being drag into a continuous pit and I kept on falling and falling.
It was when I woke up where everything just stopped. The mind tricks were gone. The emotional and mental torture was gone. It was like nothing happened but the severe functioning of my sweat glands gave me enough reason that everything was a complete nightmare.
Maybe, this is what I get from isolating myself and choosing to be alone rather than to make friends or find for a lifetime partner if that is even possible and necessary.
I hate the morning that greeted me today. It was so damn freezing that was why I found it strange that my whole body was sweating when I woke up. But then, it wasn't really strange at all because nightmares could really ruin an entire day. Even the days after, actually.
This freaking temperature even messed up the only mirror I have. I washed my face but when I looked into the mirror I hung in the bathroom, everything was faded and foggy. I even wiped it but the moist was just there so the ending, I gave up because there is no reason to see myself in the mirror anyway.
The whole day just passed the way it was supposed to be except that, Christmas is being felt even more nowadays. There are lots of red marks in my calendar now but I can't seem to find the reason to why I did that. Countdowns are not really my thing so this whole marking of calendars doesn't really define me.
