Deep Thoughts/Late Night Thoughts <33

Falling apart

I'm not sure if anyone can relate to this, but I feel left out. Like I'm distancing myself from people, and I'm not sure why. Actually I do. I feel sad, jealous, frustrated, and annoyed by my friends at the time. They keep excluding me from things, from what I have noticed in the passed two weeks. When i try to bond with them and facetime they always say shit like "i cant" or "i'm busy rn" on text while IM TRYING BUT then THEY proceed to tell me things like "why are you never on the call", "You never interact with us anymore." I try, I really do but sometimes it's just hard to keep up with things like that when you feel crumbled inside. My old crush came into my friend group in the past month, and ever since then things have been going downhill for my other friend and me. Nobody listens to us, we get talked over, and when we try to suggest something they always go with something the more popular person said. And they don't even notice our own good traits sometimes. For example, the people in my friend group think that my best friend is just mean and aggressive. But she has so many other amazing traits, but nobody pays attention to them except me :(. It makes her feel bad, which I don't like. It's one thing if I feel bad but if somebody else that i care about is? It's a big deal to me. The people in my friend froup aren't usually assholes, usually they are super nice but for some reason it's been falling apart. They don't even notice what they do sometimes either... All you feel in this situation is depressed, lonely, useless, hopeless, and irrelevant. I'm so nice to my friends and my old crush, even at times when I don't want to be but then they exclude me from things. What did I do to deserve this? Please I need to know, why can't I be happy? Every time I seem to be happy something always has to ruin it.

That's it, this is kinda just a vent post that I tried to turn into writing LOL