Identity Illusion

Chapter 2

The sun woke her again in the morning, showing dust particles in the rays and exposing the different colored strands in the carpet her mother picked out nearly nineteen years ago. Browns, tans and ivory twisted together into a faded yet still soft pattern. Sitting up, Claire touched her bare feet to the carpet and took a few quiet moments to run her toes back and forth over it, starting her day in a relaxed manner.

Even so, the to do list of that day ran one by one through her head. Fix the leak under the sink, check her email to see if her mom had gotten her message about the leak, get laundry folded...even on days to herself Claire enjoyed being busy. It kept her mind from wandering and also from coming up with horrible scenarios about her mother suffering while she was away. But each time she left, she always came back. That hopefully thought kept Claire from shutting down and going on with her life and duties.

Taking a deep breath and stretching her arms behind and above her, Claire finally stood up and fixed her tank top that had rose up her stomach. The flannel pajama bottoms that belonged to her mother were long enough to cover her feet from sight, keeping them warm when she left the room and walked on the wood floor in the hallway.

Memories of photos hung from the walls on either side. One of Claire and her mother laughing while being bundled up outside in the middle of the winter, their noses red and eyes watery from the harsh frozen wind. Most of the photos were taken in the outdoors, both of them loved being outside and in the fresh air with only nature to be the focus.

Claire tried not to look at the photos of her and her mother too often because she missed her more and more each day. Her hugs and comforting voice that made every stress she felt would break her could be brought to a halt. It was a super power in her eyes when she was a child. The last hug she had from her mother was when she left just a few short weeks ago. Or had it been months? The calendar in the kitchen would remind her.

But first she wanted to check the damage under the sink again. A small bucket that had once held chlorine tablets for a hot tub her father had once installed. The bucket stayed behind while the rest of him, including her younger sister left. Claire didn't miss them, it would just cause depression and she didn't want to suffer anymore then missing her mom was doing. At least she could sleep through the night again.

The bucket was half filled and she counted every thirty seconds a small drop would fall and disturb the still water below. Leaving the doors open, she went to the garage attached to the house and found a caulk gun that was still able to be used. She took it inside and got to work to seal the leak she managed to find and fix the leak so the drops no longer collected in the bucket and she could remove it and dump the access water in some dry nearly forgotten plants around the house.

The silence in the house was a comfort yet a burden. Her mother used to laugh, mostly at herself which made her such a joy to be around. Claire didn't have that trait, she hated any attention on her and it always made no sense to her how her mom could so easily laugh off a mistake such as dropping a plate and it shattering, or if a meal was burned because she got so engrossed in a book it had to be a rule for her mother not to bring a book to the kitchen. Claire also had difficulties following that rule but she was stubborn to hold onto it while she was alone. It was as though she was still there.

"I miss you again." She whispered as she moved a strand of blonde hair out of her face so it no longer tickled her nose when she bent over to pour the last few drops of water into the barely living mint plant sitting on the window. Claire had read that mint kept spiders away, the only insect her mother feared. Not only that but the plant
worked like aromatherapy to Claire.

After a few hours of straightening things around the house the lack of companionship was beginning to cut into her again, making the house seem to shrink and her head ache. In the deepest parts of her mind she was hearing her mother's laugh again. Of course it wasn't really there, but it sounded so close. Suddenly the laughs became screams, shrieks of agony that ripped a hole into Claire so large she dropped to her knees and was in instant tears. Why was she hearing this? She was squeezing her eyes shut until she was feeling pain in her eyes but the tears kept spilling.