The faded sunshine. (Kagehina)

dizziness

  I kept the door open, slightly enough for Hinata to barge in as if it were his own. My eyes followed him as he walked inside. He began to speak up, "It's so quiet, are your parents home?"
  That was quite a touchy subject for me, since I had never met my parents before. Funny enough that they left the moment I was born, I tend to question if it was because of me..

    I walked inside and ignored his his question, abruptly changing the topic.

   "Are you hungry by any means?" I said obliviously. I did this on purpose, to maybe distract Hinata from the thought of my parents....perhaps even trying to ignore mine.

   "I am hungry! Thanks for asking but..." he paused, I embraced myself for the worst. "...like before, you intended to ignore my question. I don't want to be a burden or an intruder to your parents surrounding awareness!"

    I could feel it all rushing back to me.

   My parents leaving me, never loving me.

   Soreness had swollen up my eyes, vision becoming quite blurry. Nose starting to run....I panicked when I realized. "I uh....", why did I say that so awkwardly?

      All you are is a coward. A king.

   I could feel Hinata's concerning thoughts that lived inside.

Water dripping down my face, red eyes, slight headache.

"Kageyama, what the- what's wrong?"

I tried to breathe, taking off my shoes and trying to play it cool.
    "Hinata...I don't have parents."

   I could see that the news broke him a little, the color draining from his face. "Oh my- listen, I'm so sorry" he grabbed my wrist in an intent manner. He pulled me to an unknown area, I didn't know where he was leading me, my trust took faith into him.

He began to sit me at the couch, he then sat crisscrossed next to me. I couldn't keep my eyes away from the floor, feeling a pit of shame in my stomach, boiling...making me feel sick.

He brought his hands to grab my face, forcefully making me stare into his golden brown eyes. The moment I looked into his eyes, the waterfall came crashing. I pushed his hands away to cover my face with my own. I couldn't help but let out a sob.

This isn't like me at all, he saw me as the king who just is filled with anger and emotionless reactions.

I hunched my back to rest my elbows on my knees as I sobbed into my hands. I knew well that these tears weren't only from the topic of my parents, it's all the rushing feelings I felt in the past coming to just hit me.

I've had panic attacks before hand, the intense feeling of overloaded feelings. It feels like you can't feel any emotions at the moment, everything is just set quite free. You can't control your breathing, it feels like you're a video game character being controlled from the outside. You feel like a puppet.

Hinata abruptly pulled me into a hug, my body completely ignoring his actions, staying stiff.

"I'm sorry, Hinata. I didn't mean for my walls to come crashing down right now." I managed to get out through my sobs.

"Please don't apologize Kageyama, I have no idea what you're going through at the moment, but I assure you that I'll be here for you no matter the circumstances...well, unless you murder someone."

We both laughed, "the only person I'd murder is you." I said with a smile still on my face.

I took my hands away from my face and I put them on Hinata's cheeks, pulling him into a kiss.

I heard him breathe in quickly. When he relaxed into the kiss, he breathed out through his nose. I slowly pulled away, hearing the sound of our lips disconnecting echo. I stared into his eyes for a moment before realizing.

I dropped my hands from his face and backed away in a panic. "Oh god, I uh-" I said with a stunned expression.

He stared at me with a dead face, with his mouth still slightly open from shock.

He brought his fingers up to touch his own lips, a blush creeping along his cheeks. "You-....you kissed me..." he stuttered out slowly.

There was a moment of awkward silence, until I decided to speak up.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that without your consent." I felt a little guilty, my heart and thoughts took over my body at that moment in time.

He still shows a bit of shock in his eyes as he speaks, "No! It's completely fine! I promise that from the moon and back. If I were to continue being honest, I might as well tell you that I liked it."

Hearing those last words felt like I could cry again, he was my comfort.

I brought my hand to his face, he took his own and covered my hand as he smiled.

He brought both of his hands in between my neck and shoulders, right where it comes up. He leaned in to kiss me once more, my hands reaching for his hips, hesitating a bit before resting. The sound of our kisses echoed the room, I began to lean him to lay down on the couch, leaning down with him, I hovered over him as we kissed the night away.

We pulled apart to share our words, "I love you."

God, I love this guy.