SHATTERED!!!

Chapter 5

      I had woken up today, not as calm as any other day My senseless dreams has unquestionably leveled up,more than ten folds. Now, not longer senseless but, more like abnormal. It were as though, i just got out from a crazy horror movie. I remembered seeing a familiar face, someone i would rather not even want to see his face in reality, was now in my dream. Ugh! What else could be better than a perfect nightmare! My head ached as I remembered what my dream entailed. Like i had noted earlier, the dream was quite horrific and bloody. As much as i disliked Mr Kendy, this time in my dream, i was very worried about him. He looked very much terrified and fear - stricken. He kept running and looking backward, as though, he was trying to flee from someone. A side of his face was wounded. Someone chasing him, i did not see the person. Exhausted from running for too long, he had slowed his pace. His lips trembled, pleading for help. He tries talking to t- - -
        “MERRY CHRISTMAS, airhead. Come off that bed, dude! It’s late afternoon already. Are you pregnant or what?” My cocky best friend’s voice had taken over the silence in the house. I am certain that alarm doe not sound as loud as he sounds. In no time, he was already at my doorway. We both did a staring competition for some seconds before i decided to look away.
       “I have been awake, dummy! And beside, staying this late in bed is worth it. My shift nearly refuses to end until some minutes to midnight, yesterday.” I cussed, greeting off the bed.
        “ You have been up since? Says someone whose eyes are still swollen from sleep. Was Sarah probably giving you a good time in your dream, huh?” He sputtered, blinking weirdly at me. I snorted. I should be used to his teasing by now.
        “ I would have preferred that to the terrible nightmare i just woke up from.” I replied.. Freddy had jumped in the bed and start beside me immediately.
       “Hm. Tell me more/ about it. I wish i had watched your reaction while your dream was ongoing. For someone who dislikes horror, your trembles would h- - -,”
      “ Shut up, barf bag,” My pilllow hitting him squarely on his face. He had tried dodging it, laughing. For a fact, i do not miss my target and Freddy’s laughter is quite contagious, so i could not resist joining in.
       “ Now all serious. Tell me ‘bout that dream of yours.” he asked again, trace of laughter all fading off.
        “ Nothing much, actually. I saw Mr Kendy in my dream. He was running in fear and all of that.” i briefly explained.
        “ Mr Kendy? Running in fear? Man, that should not be a nightmare. A good dream, it is.” He replied, nonchalantly. I would have agreed with him if i was not worried about Mr Kendy in my dream.
        “ He was pleading for help. He seemed to be in danger.” I whispered. Freddy clapped his hands and gave out a throaty laughter. So dramatic!
        That should have been the best dream dream you have ever had. Whoever was chasing him in that dream of yours. Or was it you?” I shook my head. He continued, “ UGh, it would have been better if it was you. THat person must have hated him the way we both did and have gotten a w- - -,”
         “Boys! Food!” Mother called. My stomach rumbled in delight. Since it is Christmas today, it is quite certain that. Delicious delicacy that we do not eat on normal days, was what we would be feasting on.

Freddy had gotten o the dinnng room before me with excitement energizing his whole system. Why was this dude happy when he had already eaten Christmas meal as his house, before visiting. A glutton, he was.
         “ Merry Christmas, Mrs Randwell.”
         “ Merry Christmas, Mother.”
         “ Hahahah! Merry Christmas, Boys.” We all exchanged pleasantries.
    The smell of roasted Parmesan potatoes, Beef Brisket, cranberry apple porks chops - name all kinds of delicious Christmas delicacy - filled the air, effortlessly. If Freddy had not joined the table, it would have just been i and Mother, eating all the whole town could feed on. Well, i really appreciate the extravagance. Our eyes noticeably goggled Mother’s every step of dishing as we waited upon our meals. As soon as it was placed in our front, we wasted no time in devouring it. Delicious i would say, is an understatement for this meal. My taste bud certainly made heaven, the moment a spoon relished my mouth. Mother’s efforts should be appreciated.
     “ Freddy. My Mama surely cooks better than ev- - -,”
     “Shut up! Go check under the Christmas tree.” Mother had cut in, sharply. Freddy did not even take note of what i was tryin to say, as he was still sweatily feasting on his meal. His eyes looking very tired to stay open. But the glutton munched on, anyway.
      “ Under the Christmas tree?” I quizzed, unsure.
       “ Just go.”
     I really find this, quite surprising. Anything that would be under that Christmas tree is definitely a gift for me. I tried not to hurry to get there but i got there in no time. It’s no fault of mine that the house is small. Discovering a prettily wrapped small box was not a difficult and time consuming thing to do. IN no time,/i had destroyed the package. It’s been long Mother had actually gifted me something. Inside the box, laid a brown envelope. I felt and checked it out. Tons of money met my eyes. Money? For what? I walked back to the dining where Mother was seated. Our eyes meeting, as i got closer.
      “ Mother. I saw money. For what?” I asked. Mother sighed. Even Freddy was quiet. Why do I have a feeling, this was going to go downhill?”
       “ Tom, it is time for you to leave this town. You should follow Freddy when he is going back, a day after new year.” Mother commended. In my head, Deb break signals were ignited. My emotions, i am lost on how to keep them in check. In a rush, i took Mother’s hands, Nd forcefully tries to place the money in them.
        “ To9m! Tom! No! What are you doing. Let go of my hand! Tom!” Mother struggled with me till the money flew off our hands. I stared at her, then at the money.
        “ I would not ask where you have gotten the money from, but i would not be needing that Mother. i am working and i am saving. In no time, i- - -,” i tried convincing.
        “ I am helping as your mother. Suck up that baby att- - -,”
        “ We are not rich, Mother. We cannot afford the city right now. Maybe i could, but i cannot when some important things are s- —“
        “ Stop worrying about me this very seconds, Tom!” Mother had shouted. Her tone quite authoritative that it did shut the raging anger inside of me. I looked at her angry face. I am confused too, Mother.
         “ i am tired of you making me feel guilty that i had shut down your big dream. Look at you. You look quite pitiful. You always look pitiful, everyday. Angry that you are stucked in this small town because of your mother. My heart cannot bear it and arch us grow apart even more. I would take care of myself, son. Just go.” Mother persuaded.
I am still very blank, my heart beating at a fast pace. This does not feel right. i really do not need her help, in this manner. I should not even dare take money from her after all she has been through. And it is certain she had borrowed the money. I shook my head.
         “Mother, this money, we need to return it. I have my savings, piling up. When it is- - -,”
         “ Tom, this is not the time to be stubborn.
And return what? Return it to who? Listen boy, just take the money already” Mother retorted, gently rubbing her head.
      She did not borrow it ? But she was not working!
       “ We would use the money in restocking your drugs, alr- - -,”
      “ Tom, enough of this! You will use this money for t- - -,”
      “ You cannot tell me what to do, Mother! I ain’t a baby no more!” I yelled, causing Mother and Freddy to open their mouths wide in shock. I know very well that Freddy is the one behind all of this. But his case is till the very least.
       “ Jesus Christ! What has gotten over you, boy.”
      “ Mother, you talk about me making you feel guilty. Huh, why don’t i speak for myself, now. Ever since that fire incident night, do you know how cold you turned to me, randomly giving me care whenever you feel generous to? Yeah, you did not blame me for what i did, neither did you comfort me. You just left me there, indirectly reminding me of your girl child that i had killed. Now you say all my sincere care for you makes you feel guilty? You want me to leave so you could wallow alone about a girl child that would have properly taken care of y- - -,”
       “ Tom, watch y- - -,”
       “ You stay out of this!” I sternly warned him. He tries to argue further. But ; “ You should suck your words back in your mouth, Freddy. All these would not have happened if you had not stuttered what was none of your business.” I fired. He had staggered backward in prostration. I ignored him, facing Mother again. And there she was, the very best in masking emotions. I heaved.
       “ I do not need your help, whatsoever. I am quite an adult to make decision s on my own. I leave when i want to and say so.” I said, finalizing my tantrum for the evening. Like a deranged fellow, i had stomped out of the house.

                        ★  ★  ★

      And what just happened!!! Did i just grow the courage to say out my deepest feelings? Oh God! kill Tom, already. I did not mean to say it that way, but it feels good, right? Right? UGh! Why am i having missed feeling about this. Why can i not think straight? Why.
I have been standing in front of the rentals for some good minutes now. How i had gotten to the rentals was what only God know. But, i am glad i landed myself at the rentals. At least, if i still do not feel like going home, i could sleep over at the rentals. I was done biting my fingers in front of the closed shop. i took out the key from my pocket and opened the door to let myself in. Inside was dark, i could barely see. But i had decided not to put on the light. I just wanted to get a good sleep. 
No watching of movies, i just want to sleep and forget abou the day.In an ease i gotten into the film room., now deciding to use some light. I quickly found the switch and used it. Light flickered on, the items in the room now very visible to see. At that moment, Old Larry looked as though, it arms were wide open, beckoning on me to receive them and feel calm. I did not hesitate as i quickly got in to the chair. Not the the exact warmth i had imagined, but, its own kind of warm had it own effect.
       I sighed in and out heavily, my mind totally heavy. I really need to stop thinking about what has happened. Even with me feeling quite uneasy, I am still glad those words came out. Fine, she wants to help, must a reason tag along with it. Of all reasons, she chose to make me know that I made her guilty.