Camilo Madrigal Angst and Headcannons (because why not)

Piercing Guilt - Part One

TW:

Blood

Self-Harm

Crying

Addictions

@I_live-  requested this.

*~Camilo POV~*

My hands were shaking. The tiled floor was covered in blood. My blood. I leaned on the sink, placing my two hands at each of the front corners, my hair was messily falling in front of my face as tears streamed down my face. I clenched my hands harder onto the sides of the sink. The salty drops fell into the sink, and onto my hands. I raised my right hand and reached for the razor. I wasn't finished yet. I had to do more. I immediately placed the cold razor on my arm and sliced at the skin beneath, blood pricking up even more. I knew that this would have a painful consequence, but I didn't care. Then, I thought of what mi familia would think. Of me. Of this. Of what I had become.. It felt like my head was falling into an endless void of negativity. Casita couldn't control inside my room, and Dollores couldn't hear inside my room. No-one, no thing could help me. It was night, so no one would be up. Or so I thought..

 "Camilo? Are you awake? I couldn't find you in your room so are you in here? I need help looking for my-" Antonio suddenly walked in, unexpectedly. I flinched at the sudden voice and before I could do or say anything more, Antonio was crying, running and screaming to Mamá Pepa. I took a step to run after him, but I remembered about my cuts and stopped, praying he wouldn't tell. I looked up in the mirror above my ensuite bathroom sink and shapeshifted into me, only i was different. The cuts had disappeared. I rubbed my arm. Even though it didn't look like it, the cuts were still there. Well, mentally. I could feel the cuts. This had brought suspicion many times before as I winced when someone grabbed my arm and they checked my arm but didn't see anything. Nice consequence, huh?

Before I risked anyone else walking in on me, I cleaned up my blood and put my razor back in the cabinet, freshly cleaned.

*~Pepa's POV~*

I was dreaming of rainbows and clear skies when suddenly, I found myself awake and a cloud above my head.

 "Antonio!" I yell, startled and worried at mi hijo abruptly storming in, full of tears and fear. Félix is awake now too, so is the whole household, I presume.

 "Dios mío, what happened?" I spoke softly, running over to him and hugging him. His breathing was heavy and quick, but suddenly he was less tense, and calming down. He had fainted.

 *~Antonio's POV~*

I woke up in a familiar bed, surrounded by familiar people, and a familiar ray of light.

 "Mamá?" I whispered, seeing mami in front of me. I looked around the room whilst mamacita slowly opened her eyes and adjusted to the light. Papi and hermana Dollores were also there.. Along with... Camilo. The memories flooded back and I remember Camilo covered in.. red? He was holding something sharp and crying. It scared me. 

 "Hermano, what happened?" Dollores got up from her seat in the corner, next to Camilo, who was staring at the wall beside him. I sat up and mamá gave me a bear hug, making my hair wet from the formed rain cloud. I looked over at mi hermana and answered her:

 " I-I lost my pl-ushie and got scared b-because I saw.. u-uh... sh-shadows? " the look of relief on Camilo's face made me uneasy. I thought he would get in trouble, or get hurt so I stayed quiet. Luckily, everyone believed me. Dollores did give me a suspicious look but I ignored it. Mami said to rest for the day whilst she looked for my plushie from Mirabel and I went back asleep.

*~Third Person POV~*

Camilo acted 'normal' for the rest of the day and soon, Antonio was allowed out after having one of Julietta's specials just in case. Dinner rolled up and the Family gathered to the table for Cena.

 *~Antonio's POV~*

 "Mami Pepa?" I asked, curious and nervous.

 "Yes, mi hijo?" She answered after finishing her bite.

 "What is that red liquid i saw?" I questioned.

 "W-What do you mean, miel?" Mi mamacita asked, confused.

 "I saw someone covered in red, what was it? It looked scary." As soon as I said that, shocked looks were exchanged throughout the table, oddly.

 *~Camilo's POV~*

'Shit' I thought. He was going to tell everyone! What would they think?! Would they kick me out? Would I become an even bigger burden to the family? I felt my hands shake uncontrollably under the table, what do I do?

 "Antonio, what do you mean?" Abuela shot a concerned look at him, completely serious.

 "Am I in trouble.. ?" Antonio whispered .

 "Of course not, but I need you to explain what you mean." Abuela was dead serious. Antonio only sat there. He didn't like speaking in front of too many people.

 "Maybe we should take this into another room?" I offered, gesturing at how anxious Antonio was getting being in the spotlight.

 "Good idea, Camilo." Abuela spoke, wofting away the other Madrigals. Allowing me, Mami, Papi, Dollores and, of course, Antonio to stay. I gulped as I realised I just made it easier for Antonio to come clean. Abuela told us she'd let us settle it and went to go take care of the family. Me and Dollores stood back and Mami and Papi dealt with Antonio.

 "Yesterday night, I saw someone.. They looked sad." Antonio frowned, remembering the events that took place last night. I started to shake again.

 *~Third Person POV ~*

Dollores noticed Camilo shaking, and pulled him aside.

 "Dollores?" Camilo asked, confused.

 "Last night, I was asleep before I heard screaming, like everyone else. But what they didn't hear, was that it came from your room. Covered in blood? Looking sad and scary? What is happening, Camilo?!" She replied, fearful. Camilo's eyes widen as tears threaten to prick them. He begins to tremble even more. Dollores asks again. Camilo breaks down into tears, violently shaking. Camilo wants to say anything, any excuse to get out of this, but he knows it's too late. Dollores cries and hugs her hermano menor. Dollores rubs circles on Camilo's back, knowing about the cutting, wishing it wasn't real.

Whilst still hugging Camilo, she says "Camilo, we have to tell Mamá and Papá." 

 "No!" Camilo immediately croaked, his throat hoarse from crying so hard, breaking the hug and shivering.

 "Okay, I'll be here if you need someone to talk to, but please promise me that you will never cut again."

"I promise..."

PART ONE END