My Eating Disorder (COMPLETE)

I See

It was midnight and I was sitting on the bathroom floor. The blank walls and rugs weren't the best company.

Constipation has become a huge problem for me, and the laxatives don't seem to be working. It makes things worse.

But that wasn't the core of my problems.

I clenched my stomach tightly as it begged for food. Drinking water was no use. Nothing could take away the hunger apart from eating.

Fuck.

I had to eat something. Slowly, at the pace of a snail, I walked towards the dreaded kitchen. It was completely dark. My phone flashlight lit up the way. The same horrid, wooden, countertops faced me.

I opened the fridge and was feasted upon a variety of options. Yogurt, some left over pizza, eggs and some strawberries. Strawberries seemed like the best choice. I don't think my stomach would freak out if I had them.

Hesitantly, I took off the leaves and rinsed them. I felt and ith to stop, but my stomach was hysterical.

It needed food.

I finished washing the strawberries and sat down on the chair. My stomach growled. 

I neared the little pink fruit near my mouth.

You'll gain weight. That stupid voice said. All of your progress will be gone.

I ignored it and took a bite.

====

Scrolling through YouTube was becoming an awful habit of mine. Videos upon videos and I was still left with boredom, but a particular youtuber caught my eye.

Linda Sun

When I clicked on one of her videos, it wasn't what I expected. She was overflowing with kindness and she seemed to understand what I'm going through.

Nourish your body, she said. Love yourself.

I laughed, I highly doubt I ever can.

Though, it was a fun way to pass the time.

====

Going to school and keeping up with my grades was difficult. The pounding headache wouldn't go away as I tried to listen to the teacher. I put both my fingers towards my forehead in a circular motion.

"Sunny?"

I snapped my eyes towards the teacher. The whole class was staring at me. My face got hot.

"Sorry...what was the question?"

The teacher sighed.

====

My hair was falling out. It started a few months ago. I noticed strands falling out, but I brushed it off back then. It was just a few loose locks.

Changing shampoos should do it.

It didn't help.

Alright, maybe a new conditioner and some vitamins.

It didn't help.

Maybe some more treatments...

Nothing helped and now I'm staring at the drain with clumps of my hair.

===

I keep an eye on my sister. She was always skinny, but I'm worried.

She hasn't eaten much lately...

-April 29

===

A few months of school have gone by and people are noticing how skinny I'm getting. A rush of euphoria filled me and I felt myself smiling whenever I got complimented.

It's all worth it.

But a little voice said, is it really?

And my headache increased as the day went on. The happiness was only temporary, never lingering longer than a few minutes.

I don't know anymore.

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A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! But good news, this story is going to be finished soon :)