Regrets

Guilt-filled Anger

I can already tell you're likely confused reading what I labelled this part. Let me explain: 

If you're reading this, you likely have heard me at least once rage inside my room, and you've likely seen the damage I made when I tore it apart. I didn't necessarily tear it apart out of pure anger. A lot of it was guilt. 

As I said earlier, when I heard Bonnie at first, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to feel, what to say, I was just confused. Then, he started saying all sorts of things that made me feel nothing but pure guilt. Eventually, that guilt turned to frustration, then it turned to anger. 

He suggested I exist, he was the reason I was even made! Then, because of him, I never even got to do the thing I was built for, and he knew that! Those thoughts made me angry, and I started to throw the items in my room around, flipping furniture and just generally destroying everything. I just wanted to fulfill my purpose, why was he so angry with me? Then I remembered what exactly I had done, and my anger once again returned to guilt. I had taken his life, and for what? My fifteen minutes of fame was becoming my forever, and when before I would've loved it, now I can hardly stand myself for what I did. 

When it became guilt again, I hid in the maintenance room behind my actual room and tried to hide. Whether it be hiding from any staff that could see what I did, hiding from my new friends, or hiding from Bonnie, I didn't know. All I knew was how ashamed I felt of myself and how much I just wanted to disappear. My guilt was made so much worse by Bonnie's consistent put-downs, but I knew deep down he was right- I had ruined his entire life, purely out of jealousy. 

~~

"Montgomery, have I ever told you how much I fucking hate you?" I heard Bonnie start up again as I roamed the pizzaplex's atrium. My mood dropped again, going from such high spirits during the show to now sudden guilt. "I was supposed to be playing on that stage, Montgomery. All the posters of me are fucking gone! They've tried to erase me from everywhere! It's your fucking fault! So many kids keep seeing Bonnie Bowl and are questioning who and where I am, I won't pretend like I didn't hear it! What was so wrong with your goddamn head you thought you should decommission me just so you could play!? You could've asked me instead! I would've let you play every now and then! But no, you decided you just wanted it forever!" 

I looked down, attempting to try and ignore his words, even though I knew he only said the truth. He had the right to be angry- I did destroy his entire life, I took everything away. "Montgomery, I heard Freddy say he misses me. I heard him literally deny going into Bonnie Bowl because it hurt him since he missed me too much. Not only did you fucking ruin my life, but you've also hurt Freddy by taking me away from him! I can't fucking believe you! Why the fuck did you think ANY of this was at all a good idea!?" He began screaming at me, making me want to just curl into a ball and die. Maybe I'd just not go to a charging station and let my battery die? 

"Don't even fucking think about it, Montgomery. Just because you ruined my life, took away me playing bass, and just because I'm fucking pissed at you, I'm not letting you let your battery die. Not because I care about you, but because someone has to play bass so the kids have fun. The only reason there should be any other bass player besides you now is if I get fixed and play bass instead." I sighed, knowing he definitely wouldn't let my battery die now. What was I supposed to do? What would it take to make Bonnie stop? 

"It's simple, Montgomery. Get yourself decommissioned. Make sure that I get fixed. Then I'll leave you alone," he spoke in a smug tone. 

~~

I walked along rockstar row, walking up to Freddy's room. Maybe this would help make Bonnie calm down some. 

I stood in the doorway, the room opening and allowing me to see Freddy sitting on his couch with a sad expression. "Freddy?" I called out, causing him to look up at me. "Oh, hello Monty. Is there something you need?" I looked at him, attempting to seem not guilty of anything. "Are you still upset about Bonnie..?" I asked, him immediately looking down again. "Well...Yes. It's hard to not be, he's my closest friend. Why do you ask?" "Well, I'm sure he misses you. Even if he is...decommissioned, I'm sure he does." He looked up at me with a slight smile. "Thank you, Monty. I just miss him a lot, it's always been us two. Have you ever seen or heard of the old Freddy Fazbear locations?" 

I looked at him, confused. I didn't know there were other locations before this one. "No, I haven't. Could you tell me?" I spoke, and he nodded. "There were multiple locations before this one. The first one to my knowledge was called Fredbear's Diner, I believe. Even at that first location, the only animatronics were me and Bonnie. We didn't look the same, mind you, but it was us two. Golden Bonnie and Golden Fredbear, my name was later changed to Freddy, though. In every location, there was always us two. Even in one of the most recent ones, it was a sister location to the other ones, Bonnie wasn't a full technical attraction, but he was a hand puppet- a hand puppet that was on my hand. It's always been the two of us together. Even when others weren't there. In that sister location, Chica wasn't there, and Bonnie almost wasn't, but he was still there with me. This is the first time I haven't been with him, it's just...strange," he finished, making me sit in slight shock. That would explain more of why Bonnie was so angry. 

If Bonnie was able to, I'm sure he'd be smiling right now, knowing his friend cared this much about him. "Freddy, I'm sure they'll fix him eventually. They have to. I mean, Bonnie Bowl exists. What's the point of Bonnie Bowl without the Bonnie?" I say, trying to comfort him. "I already tried to get them to fix him, Monty. I saw the damage to him, I've been in worse condition and fixed. It's not that they can't, they just for some reason don't want to. I don't get why," he said doubtfully. My guilt doubled, knowing I really ruined things. 

"I told you I was important to him," Bonnie said, then my head was silent.