Comfort
n. a state of physical ease of a person's feeling of grief or pain
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I grab ahold of his right hand and put it to my chest. With every beat of my heart I wanted him to feel my words. "I love you more than you could've ever imagine. W...
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I grab my bag, keys and check the time on my phone, 9:15 pm.
I missed the check in time for the hotel that Xaiden booked me and I missed my date at with Elvire at this little restaurant my mom owns.
I was originally free after 5:30 for a date with Elvire and to make the hotel check in but last minute Coach messaged the team about a mandatory conditioning practice.
His reason was because last game we "embarrassed" him with more penalty yards than play yards, completely disregarding the fact that we still won.
I usually skip practices like these because even on my worst days I'm still the best on the team.
So imagine my surprise when I get a private message from coach threatening my starter position if I miss this practice.
He knew this threat would hurt because I still need to continue to impress the coaches at Yale University.
I texted Elvire and explained the entire thing to her, but she just replied "mmh".
I would've rather her cuss me out then "mmh". Atleast then it'd seem like she cared about meeting up tonight.
"Mmh" sounds like she expected me to fuck up.
I didn't have that much trust in myself either but I didn't expect it to happen so fast.
I call her again and again, just to apologize and hope for another chance, but they all go straight to her new voicemail. "This is Elvire, just leave a message if I'm not answering the phone."
After the 18th call my phone dies. I wouldn't be surprised if she already blocked me, she's given me so many chances to prove that I'm better but I only show her how I'm worse.
I let down everyone around me, my mom, Adelina, and Elvire.
I call Xaiden to see if he's changed his mind about me sleeping over but of course he doesn't answer.
I sit on the ground and wonder what I'm going to do with myself.
Usually I just follow Adelina home. Could be for food, head, sleep, or just to get high. All of those gave me a distraction from everything and anything. A distraction that kept me from trying to off myself again.
Maybe I should make up with Adelina.
I don't want to prove Xaiden and Elvire right by going back to her but she's my only comfort.
I get my duffel bag, that's full with my football equipment, off the ground and make my way towards my car. I look around the parking lot and notice Adelina still hasn't left.
I walk over to her white corvette and knock on the driver side window.
Adelina slowly rolls down her window. "¿Qué quieres?" (What do you want?)
