Addicted

Chapter 4 (Kelsie)

        All five of us order caramel frappuchinos as we wait for someone to kill the ghost possessing Kennedy's body. We all finish within 27.3 seconds, except for Kaylon, who is a slow ass eater. She doesn't eat ass, if that's what you thought I meant by that. But sometimes I wish she would eat mine.

        After four hours, Kaylon's Starbucks cup is finally empty. This is a new record for her; the fastest she has drank a grande frappuchino. Saxon and Kristina go into the men's bathroom together to shit in the urinals because they have infections that they don't want to spread by sitting on the toilets. When those two return, we hear screaming from outside. We run to where Kennedy still stands. Her hands and mouth are covered in blood, and an eighty-year-old couple is laying on the ground covered in blood, dead.

        "They aren't wounded," Kaylon says as she performs a quick autopsy of the old couple, "Where did the blood come from?" Next to the dead couple is a white cow with black spots and blood all over it. We hadn't noticed it before.

        "What's black, white, and red all over?" I say.

        "A sunburned zebra!" Renee responds as she takes a bite from the cow's shoulder. 

        I glare at Renee. "No, you dipshit. That damn cow."

        We detach Renee from the corpse so that we can flip it over. On the other side of the cow is a giant hole with guts, meat, and blood spilling from it. This is the source of the blood that the old couple must've drowned in. The cause of this wound appears to be Kennedy, or I guess Kennedy's body, considering she can't control herself at the moment.

        Renee flings a bunch of the cow's insides at all of us, laughing like a five-year-old child. Some of it gets in my beautiful blue hair.

        "FUCK OFF RENEE! YOU'RE GOING TO STAIN MY BEAUTIFULL MAJESTIC HAIR! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I THREW PIECES OF DEAD COW AT YOUR BEANIE?!" I snap. Renee stares at me, stunned. She runs into Kennedy's arms as she cries. 

        Renee starts making out with Kennedy, their bloody mouths entertwined in a passionate kiss. I think they may have contracted cow AIDs, but I'm not a scientist, so I ask Kaylon. She confirms that, yes, they will get cow AIDs from this STD infected cow body. 

        "Holy shitfuck you guys! Renee's making out with a ghost!" Kaylon explains.

        Kennedy pauses the kissing to look at us and speak. "Actually, the ghost left my body after you guys ordered your Starbucks. The cow tripped me so I attacked it."

        Everyone, besides me, stares at Kennedy in disbelief and horror. I jump into her arms and congradulate her on her great accomplishment. "I knew one day you would become as angry at the world as I am!" I say happily to Kennedy.

        When I turn arouns, I notice Kaylon, sitting on a bench next to Kristina and Saxon, who are making out. Third-wheeling isn't fun, so I run to Kaylon and stradle my legs around her, and hold her face with my hands. I violentley kiss Kaylon, and she kisses back. We make out so hard that we fall onto the ground and into a pile of mustard. Fuck, mustard is gross as fuck.

        "KAYLON, THE MUSTARD IS BURNING ME! HELP, PLEASE!" I scream at Kaylon. She then uses her tongue to lick all the mustard off of me. Kaylon exremely dislikes mustard, so this must've been really hard for her. She must love me so much to be able to do that.

        Kaylon turns and throws up yellow mustardized vomit onto Saxon and Kristina. This doesn't seem to bother them - they are too concentrated on making out. Saxon opens her eyes and realizes what has been barfed upon them. She waves her wand and the puke disappears. All six of us gallop like horses to the nearest gas station, which is only a twenty second gallop away from the Starbucks we were just at. As I walk around the gas pumps, everything within a one hundred foot radius explodes. I guess I'm too hot (hot damn), I make a gas station wanna explode, man.

        I am still standing, staring at the remains of all of my now deceased friends. But one is missing. Saxon. 

        Saxon appears behind me, wand in hand. She waves it and Kaylon, Kristina, and Kennedy are revived and fully recovered. The limbless Renee lays dead on the ground. Saxon viciously waves the wand two inches over Renee's face. But then Kennedy realizes why Saxon is unable to bring Renee back to life.

        "The beanie! It's gone!" Kennedy points out, terrified. Kennedy then runs and lies down next to Renee's body, crying. A literal river flows out of her eye sockets and washes us miles away from the explosion scene. We end up in the middle of the woods, the train tracks just yards from where we lay.