Reborn as the Villainess of the Mary Sue Novel I wrote when I was 16

Chapter 1: My Bedroom is too Nice

This is not the room I fell asleep in. I should be waking up in a small apartment with half a kitchen because I don't really cook, and an overflowing laundry basket because walking to the cleaners is a giant pain. Instead, I wake up in a bed the size of my living room. I've never felt silk but these sheets can't be made from anything else.

Everything is so nice that I'm starting to panic. It has to be some reality TV show, but I have a meeting with a client this morning so I won't be able to play along with whatever dumb gag they're going to make me do. I don't even like game shows.

I hop out of bed and scan the ceiling for cameras. The ceiling is so high up that I can barely see it. Through a tall wooden door inlaid with gold and mother of pearl is a bathroom. There's something off about it since the sink is just a basin with water, and the tub has burned out wood underneath it. The only light comes from candles set on the wall, and a tall window of stained glass.

There's a mirror above the basin. I'm praying that I look hungover, that might be the best case scenario. Instead an alien face stares back at me. I'm smoother and paler than I've ever been in my life. My hair is stark white, and my eyes are red. Not even red from drinking, unnaturally red. I drag a long and slender finger along my eyeball to pull the colored contact out, but there is no colored contact.

When you're about to pass out, avoid hitting your head. I grip the sides of the basin and lower myself to a cold tile floor. I wait to pass out so I can wake up from whatever weird dream this is, but my body refuses. It's not even my body anymore.

I pull myself to my feet, because I'm a working woman and this is what we do. We pretend everything is fine until there's a solution. I take a closer look in the mirror and see a strange mark on my forehead. It looks like a crescent moon with the horns pointing down. Between the horns is a small dot. I make a note to put on a hat as soon as I find one.

Maybe some fresh air will help me think this through. As of right now my only thought is that I've been kidnapped and subjected to plastic surgery while I was unconscious.

Outside it's a beautiful day, and I'm standing in the scariest building I've ever seen. A hazeless blue sky stands out against black stone towers decorated with snarling gargoyles. Nothing is rounded or square, instead it's all filed down into nasty looking points. I'm near the top so whoever kidnapped me must be important.

There's a knock from behind me. I whirl around and stare at a much larger door next to the bathroom. There aren't any visible locks, and I don't have a chair big enough to barricade it with. The knock comes again.

"Who is it?" I say. They must have changed my voice too. It's sultry but harsh. Imagine running sandpaper over chocolate.

"Good morning your majesty, we brought breakfast and the morning report."

I figure they're letting me see the ransom note and feeding me.

"Okay," I say.

The door swings open and a pair of men walk into the room. They're wearing long tunics with the moon and dot symbol on it. Underneath the tunics are chainmail sleeves, and leather gloves and boots. Their heads are completely covered by helmets shaped like round trash cans with square openings for their eyes.

Both the men bow to me, then a tray of food is brought in and placed on the table. A third man brings a sheet of paper, then all three bow and exit the room.

My breakfast is a bowl of yogurt and three flanks of smoked red fish. They must not know me at all, because I can't stand the taste of either yogurt nor fish. Maybe it's a form of torture?

I have to eat something so I hazard a small spoonful of yogurt. For some reason it's delicious. The sour taste is completely agreeable with me. I try a bit of the fish, and again its taste is completely agreeable.

"Maybe they changed my taste buds along with my face and my voice," I wonder aloud. I stand up and look down at my body. "Also I think I'm taller now." Trying to make sense of it makes me nervous so I turn toward the paper they brought me.

Unrolling the scroll reveals a map filled with labels in the margins. It takes me a moment, but I realize why the map looks so familiar to me. I drew this same map more than a decade ago. An entire period of math class was spent doodling this map in the back of my notebook, and the same was true for the mark on my forehead.

I finally know who I am. This is the body of Empress Emily Sasha Justine Nightmare Hellenwaller, the conqueror of Diz. Named for every girl who had been mean to me during freshman year of high school. I'd thought her up when I realized my book didn't have any villains.

Highfeather was my debut and final work as a creative writer. I'd spent months writing page after page, but my motivation for writing had fallen off as the responsibilities of university began to creep in. After university I got a so and so job as an event planner and made it all the way to 32. Now I was in a coma, dreaming about being back in the book I wrote at 16.

I went back to the window and gazed out at the landscape. Diz was a pretty nice place to live, especially if you had just taken it over. Hellenwaller had her own castle, staff, and was powerful enough to be unchallenged by anyone in the kingdom. Nearly everyone.

I run back to the big door and stick my head out into the hallway. Two guards standing outside snap to attention.

"Can someone bring me a paper and something to write with?" I ask.

"Yes your highness," one of them says before hurrying off down the hallway.

In no time at all I'm presented with a set of scrolls, inkpots of various colors, and quills. I choose a long red feather to write with and begin scribbling notes.

Highfeather was a simple novel. Empress Hellenwaller ruled the land with an iron fist. The only person who can stop her is an unassuming girl from a rural village that Hellenwaller's forces destroyed. The girl must travel around the kingdom collecting the three legendary tomes to master the forgotten art of mind melding.

Looking back I wasn't very creative, but that's not the problem. The problem is that at the end of the book the Empress is destroyed. Which means my days might be numbered.

I look back at the map again and actually read the margin notes. Most of it is basic but I'm looking for something in particular. I find it in the bottom corner, the village Feathermere was destroyed in a raid last night. My novel is set over the course of a week, so I have maybe seven days before I'm obliterated by Dyamance Highfeather, my OC.