New Beginnings Karl Hoffmeister

Y/N I Love You

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He was still kneeling in front of you. He looked at you so lovingly it just made you love him more, all you wanted to do was lean across and kiss him but you couldn't. Even if Otto seemed to think his father had feelings for you you knew it wasn't possible. Karl was smart, rich, handsome. He could never fall in love with a simple average girl like you. Even if he somehow did he deserved better. Lotte may not have been the best wife but she was gorgeous, smart and well mannered. You didn't care about manners, you just wanted to be yourself. You wanted to play with the kids and laugh until your belly hurt.

"Y/N, you can tell me anything. Nothing you say will ever leave this office; this is a safe place." Karl assured you, holding your hand.

"I'm just not fond of the holiday season. I'm a bit of a scrooge I suppose." You confessed, mindlessly caressing your thumb over his knuckles.

"Why is that, you're always such a bright spirit." You looked away.

"When you have no one like me...The holidays just don't mean as much. My friends all have children or boyfriends, fiances or husbands. I'm the only person I know who isn't moving forward in any way. I have no suitors, no one wants me and I can't blame them. My parents are dead, I'm an only child. When you have no one to be with during the holidays, they just lose all meaning. It's just... Another day of the year. My friends all invite me over to spend the holidays with them but being the only person in the room who doesn't have a child or a significant other is lonely. Even though I'm in a room full of people who love me I still manage to feel alone. I'd rather stay home and sleep, I stopped making holiday dinners a long time ago. There was no point, I was always too sad to eat them and they went to waste... I'm sorry Karl. I'm not a very cheery person during the holidays." Your eyes were fixated on your lap. You didn't want to look at him, you were afraid of what you might see. You felt him squeeze your hand, he wanted you to look at him.

"Y/N, there is nothing wrong with you. Just because you don't have any suitors doesn't mean there is something wrong. You are so perfect. I understand the holidays can be lonely but you shouldn't feel like this. You shouldn't feel like you'll never be loved, you are loved." He insisted.

"Is it wrong to want more than just the love that comes with friendship?" You sniffed back your tears.

"It's not wrong, it's normal. When you love someone whether they're a friend, a colleague, a neighbor it doesn't matter. Falling in love is normal and it's only normal to want the person to love you back." He cupped your face. "I heard what Otto told you."

"I'm sorry. I took what he said with a grain of salt. I understand you could never." You let out a rough breath trying not to cry. "I know you could never have those feelings for me. You're Karl Hoffmeister, brilliant, handsome, perfect and I'm just simple, average, Y/N." He put his finger in front of your lips.

"Sh. What you said couldn't be further from the truth. Y/N I love you, I love you very, very much. You are in no way simple or average. You are special, bright, sweet, loving, kind. I could go on and on. I could make a list front and back of all the reasons I have fallen in love with you but we would be here all day." He wiped your tears with his thumb then rested his hand on your cheek.

"You can't Karl. People would never accept someone as brilliant as you loving someone like me. You deserve better than me Karl. I'm not the kind of woman you should want your son to."

"Stop, stop." He cupped your face with both hands. "Stop thinking like that, stop putting yourself down. Stop thinking you are less than me because you are not. You are so smart, so beautiful. You are the definition of perfection. Nothing you say will ever change the way I feel about you. Otto loves you, he adores you just as I do. I am completely in love with you. Please believe that." He almost begged as his thumbs caressed your cheeks.

"I believe you... I just think that you deserve someone better. Karl you are so sweet, so loving you make me feel like I could walk on water. I don't think I deserve it. I don't know why I just don't."

"Y/N. Do you love me?" Karl asked very seriously.

"Yes. I love you Karl." You replied, holding his hands that were still cupping your cheeks.

"Do you love yourself?" You had to think as sad as that sounds, you had to think about it.

"I don't think I know how." You confessed, tears dripping from your eyes again.

"I know darling." He wiped your tears but they kept falling.

"I'm sorry." You cried.

"Sh, don't be sorry. It's nothing to be sorry about, it's just something we have to work on. I won't stop until you love yourself as much as you love me."

"I wouldn't even know where to begin. Loving you is easy."

"Sometimes loving ourselves is the hardest thing we can do but I promise you will. You deserve your own love as much as you deserve mine. You might not think so but in time you will. I promise we will get through this together. I love you." He leaned across the couch and kissed your cheek.

"I love you Karl." You whispered.

"I love you too darling. Would you come over for dinner tonight? I'd love to spend time with you outside this office." You reached across to cup his cheek. He closed his eyes at the contact, placing his hand over yours.

"I'd love to. Can I please kiss you?"

"You never have to ask." Your hands cupped his face and his hands held your wrists holding you against his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too. I think we should wake him up." You glanced at the sleeping boy beside you. You played with his hair. He didn't even stir.

"I think you're right. Lotte was always the one who stayed with him when he had trouble sleeping. I wish she would have at least told me what she did before she left. I know I can never replace her but if I knew the things she used to say and do for him then maybe I'd be better to help him." Karl confessed.

"Karl, you are doing an amazing job given the circumstances. Sometimes there are things mothers do that fathers just can't. That's not because they're not capable, it's because mothers just have a specific touch. You are an amazing father and he loves you so much." He smiled at you.

"Buddy, time to wake up." He gave Otto a gentle shake.

"Hi papa." He mumbled.

"Hey buddy, we're going home." Karl helped him sit up then pulled him against his chest. "Y/N's going to have dinner with us."

"Really!?" He perked up fast.

"Yes buddy, let's get going."

You all made your way to the carriage. Otto got in first then Karl helped you in. Getting in after you sat beside you, his arm wrapped around you holding you against his chest. You cuddled closer to him, wrapping your arms around his middle. He played with your hair as the carriage pulled off taking you to his home.