Blue Eggs and Spam (Part 2) LEMONS

It's about...

FIRST PERSON

You wake up from the couch, Spamtong still in your arms from last night. Opening your groggy eyes greeted with the sun beams peeking from behind the curtains was usually a terrible feeling, having to wake up and be evicted from the peaceful bliss of sleep. But now, you had a special someone in your arms to go through the mornings with you. 

Well, in reality it's just been last night since you took Spamtong into your house. The memories of last night flooded into your memory, giving you a small smile. You looked down to your side where Spamtong was laying who was cuddling against your knee whilst asleep.

You suddenly hear the breaking of glass followed by a loud crash. Both you and Spamtong jump in response and look at eachother. The sound came from upstairs in the bathroom. Spamtong stared from where the noise came for awhile until you patted his shoulder, taking him out of a trance-like state.

"Hey man, it could just be a racoon or wild animal. What else could get into the TOP window without being some sort of an-" You remembered that monsters exist.

"Oh...Yeah" You mumbled.

"MOVE ASIDE [HOCHI MAMA], [NUMBER ONE RATED SALES MAN 1997] WILL PROTECT YOUR LONEY [HEART]." 

Spamtong jumped up and stood in a sort of puffed up manner, trying to look intimidating. It was really hard to find him intimidating because of his size and how much of a push over he was. Spamtong started to walk towards the upstairs bathroom before you grabbed his shoulder.

"You're gonna need this." 

You walked to the kitchen and grabbed a hammer from one of the cabinets and handed it to Spamtong although it looked heavy for him. Spamtong grabbed it without hesitation.

"[Y/N], DO YOU WANT TO GO BEHIND ME?" Spamtong asked, looking at you from his tinted glasses. 

You figured he was trying to be protective and nodded.

You both traveled up the stairs cautiously. You could sense the once brave little salesman was now slightly more hesitant to be going first, but he never stumbled and tried to keep his composure for you.

Spamtong and you were now at the door and counted to three before opening it. 

"One.."

"[TWO]..."

"THREE!" 

* The door opened by itself before both of you could even grasp the knob. Standing before you guys was...A bald man? What?

"Hey, It's me, Dwayne the Rock Johnson."

Both of you were stunned at the occurrence of such a celebrity in such a place. Before you could question Dwayne, he gripped Spamtong by the hair and stood holding him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH [NUMBER ONE RATED SALESMAN 1997]?" Spamtong asked desperately. 

Before Spamtong could get another word in, Dwayne punt kicked him out of the broken window. 

"IT'S ABOUT DRIVE IT'S ABOUT POWER WE STAY HUNGRY WE DEVOUR."

Anyways the end.