A Confession.

Part 02

"Can we stay like this, for a while?" Zhan nodded, crumpling the top sheets that were soiled to the ground. He rolled them over so he was spooning Yibo. he buried his nose into his back and nosed him there, inhaling the heady fragrance that wafted from Yibo.

Zhan kneaded his hips. "Does it hurt?"

"A little sore but damn Zhange I can't feel my legs."

Zhan chuckled against his hair.

"I love you, Yibo."

Yibo grinned. "Mn, me too. Feel so good."

Zhan turned him over to face him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. love it."

Zhan carded through Yibo's tousled hair and kissed his lips, swiping his tongue over his lips.

"Home. With you, when you're in me. Next to me, around me. Everywhere. Makes it easier. Know I can come back to you. To your arms. Here it's safe." Yibo said and rested his cheek on Zhan's chest.

"No matter what others say, you, you know me best. You won't just let me think. You'll include yourself here, in my mind, " he tapped at his skull. "Then you take away those ugly things, the words, the looks. Makes me feel pretty."

Zhan's arms tightened around him, kissing his crown and patting his back. "You're so good to me. For me, in this house where no one but us has been, is my safe place. You think I was angry when you didn't let my friends in? No, makes me feel, know that here, I can be myself, transparent, only for you to see."

"Makes me glow knowing you're watching me, so in tune to me. Makes me feel like I'm in heaven. Your eyes never faltered. It stayed, always, on me. Like a gift. It is. You Zhange, my gift. My gem, so precious. Makes me wonder what I have done to deserve your love, both emotionally and physically. When you touch me with your hands, your lips, your body is like my own powerhouse. Gives me so much strength."

"Do I deserve you Zhange?" he asked staring at Xiao Zhan intensely.

"Baby," he trails off when Yibo clamps a hand over his mouth.

"I'm speaking Zhange. Let me do the talking," he said, but his eyes were pleading. Yibo needed the release, to let go of this, what he held close to his heart.

This is why Zhan knew him well. When everyone said Yibo needs time to himself he knew Yibo needed an ear to listen to him, to hear what he has to say. His opinion. It mattered. To Zhan it was priceless.

"I don't deserve you. I don't but I'm selfish. I want you to be here, with me, close to me. Heck, I want to hold you every minute. That's what I thought when I first started dating you, six years ago. I was just seventeen and there was you, like a beacon, my light. You were like spiderman to me, saves me from everything. Even myself."

Zhan locked his jaws. Yibo rarely talks like this, letting everything out for him to see, to touch and feel, to mend and kiss. The tears had long since started to flow but he didn't move to stop he was more interested in what the angel in his arms had to say.

Yibo kissed his chest, biting the skin gently. "You were so much older than me. Twenty three when I wasn't even an adult then. When was it? Oh yes, in May. That was months before I turned eighteen. I was a fucking minor Zhange and obviously, I was thinking if you were just joking around, playing me, with my feelings. I mean, why would you settle for me, six years younger, dumb as fuck, can't do anything to survive."

Yibo looked at Zhan, wiping away the tears he smiled at the older.

"Why? But even then you were gentle. You didn't express your feelings until I had turned eighteen, until that warm rainy summer day when we got wet but didn't care because we felt like we were letting go. I don't know about you, but me- I did. I let go."