The Omegaverse Conspiracy [South Park ABO]

Chapter 2: I Like You So Much I Keep Fucking It Up

Things were pretty normal after they all left the facility. They were advised to keep wearing facemasks for around a week, but this was eventually lifted when the government regulations were changed. Some people were already beginning to speculate what the source of the growing youth-aggression problem was; some blaming movies and video games as they had for years, others claiming a chemical had been snuck into the school's cafeteria food. Only a select few were actually correct in their theories, demanding answers from the mayor about South Park's tainted water supply. 

Unfortunately for them, they were treated just as crazy as all the other conspiracy theorists. Stan felt bad for a few of the truly intuitive people that were grouped in with the nut-jobs, some of their reasoning was sound, 1-2% of the community articles he'd read even implicated Mephesto's laboratory. Guilty he couldn't tell them how right they were, he and Kyle often lamented the poor state their town had inadvertently been plunged into.

Randy had waited for Sharon to return from work, and Shelly from school, then gave a very censored version of events. The main takeaway for his mom, was that Stan had skipped school, so he was subsequently grounded for a week. Not that he cared, there was nothing to do outside anyway, most places were still under covid-level restrictions. He was happy to see his mom cheer up though, less worried about Randy's whereabouts now she knew he was working overtime at the laboratory. Shelly didn't seem to care regardless. 

After they'd gotten home on that fateful day, Kyle blew up at him for involving them all in this, saying it was his fault that Kenny had been put in that position. Defensive at first, Stan yelled right back until both of them were red in the face, and Kyle eventually pushed to his breaking point. He left, slamming the door of Stan's room with tears in his eyes.

When he had the chance to think over the events that had happened, eventually he came to understand why Kyle was so mad. He cursed his thoughtlessness and apologised gravely the next day, promising to make it up not just to him, but to Kenny too. Things were okay for the most part, but they still had weird moments, and disagreements, which got ugly unless one of them relented.

-

Their arguments had come to a head two days ago, and Stan deeply regretted what had come out of his mouth in the heat of the moment. Cartman had made an embarrassing comment at lunch time about how all they did now was bitch at each other like a married couple, right in the middle of one of their passive-aggressive lulls, which Butters, Craig and Clyde had all found hilarious. Stan thought he might have even seen Token and Tweek snickering to themselves too. Kenny, always finding humour in everything, even the occasional Cartman quip, would've probably laughed hard too. The only person who hadn't laughed besides himself and Kyle, was Scott Malkinson, who's eyes had darted between them anxiously, as if he knew this would spark something horrible later on.

They had managed to keep it together until they were outside, but all hell broke loose when they were playing football.

"What the fuck? If you had just passed to me we could've scored!" Kyle bitched at him, holding his arms wide open in the universal 'are you kidding me' pose.

"I didn't see you," Stan lied.

"You looked right fucking at me!" Kyle screamed, getting up in his face and shoving him childishly.

"Don't fucking push me, Kyle. It's just a game, go cool your head. You've been fucking unbearable lately." Stan crossed his arms, and turned his head away to snub him.

The truth was, Stan didn't want to pass to Kyle because he didn't want to risk the other boy being tackled. Stan knew logically that was ridiculous, Kyle wasn't as frail as he had been in the past, some days he was even fitter than Stan himself, but once again, his over-protective ape brain got in the way. He knew Kyle was likely to start beating the shit out of him if he knew it was because he was being underestimated, so Stan tried to remain aloof. However, Kyle always knew when Stan was hiding something from him, and so friction was created every time Stan brushed off the younger boy.

"I've been unbearable? You're the one screaming at government officials and dragging us all into your bullcrap! And you keep staring me and everyone else down like we're fucking dogs! Is it our fault you're in such a shitty mood all the time?"

"No, it's no one's fault, but you certainly don't make it any better acting like a crazy ex-girlfriend! Cartman's fucking right, we are like a married couple! A shitty, divorced couple!" He hollered belligerently, waving his arms, uncaring at the half laughing, half gasping crowd congregated around them.

"Yeah, fine! That's a great idea; I divorce you! I fucking divorce myself from this toxic friendship. This has happened too many times for it to be a coincidence now, maybe we're just shitty friends." Kyle crossed his arms now, in the way that he always did when he wanted to shield himself from breaking down emotionally - the way he had just weeks before after Kenny had been locked away.

"We were great friends until you decided to start acting like your - fat bitch activist mom on fucking steroids!" Stan roared in Kyle's face, part of him registering just how much of a lunatic he was being, but he was too far gone now.

Kyle's face fell immediately, and Stan could feel just how betrayed he was just by the change in atmosphere. Cartman howled with laughter, falling over in the soft snow of the playground while Butters covered his smirking mouth with his hand, trying to be polite, as he helped the fat boy up.

They had an agreement between them to never compare themselves to their parents. Stan loved his dad, but he never wanted to be like him when he grew up, and Kyle felt the same way about his mom. Kyle's usually bright and fiery eyes looked dead inside, too hurt and shocked to even start crying.

"Well... I could just as easily tell you how much you're starting to resemble your belligerent, pig-headed dad, but what's the point? I'm done, I give up." Kyle's voice shook as he spoke, his arms painfully tight around his midsection.

Stan's anger had finally drained from him, leaving only hollow and empty sorrow in its wake, but he was too late in calming down.

His body tensed up as he fought the need to grab Kyle and pull him to his chest as he walked away. He felt like he was dying inside - he couldn't believe he had done something so cruel to someone he loved so much. The only sound in the otherwise silent playground was Cartman's gasping laughter as he fell against Butters, drowning out the heavy footsteps of Kyle's snow boots as he trudged away in defeat, wounded by their battle of words. 

-

"Hello, children! It's Veggiesday, meaning you have a choice of either cauliflower pizza, or eggplant lasagne, which would you like, Eric?" The portly black man Stan and his friends had grown to depend on asked cheerfully as he and Cartman approached. 

"Man... The pizza, I guess. Fuckin' Veggiesday can suck my balls..." Cartman huffed, grabbing his usual two portions of dessert, carrot cake. Stan noted it wasn't Kyle's favourite dessert, but it was a close second. He kicked himself for nosily wondering if the redhead eaten any today.

Stan and Kyle hadn't talked in two days, which was an eternity for them. Kyle had chosen to sit alone at a different table for lunch, until Bebe and Wendy approached him on Monday, and Butters approached him yesterday. Stan saw him walk in with David today too, so despite feeling embarrassed at his stalker behaviour, he was glad Kyle wasn't completely isolated after their monumental fall-out. 

Stan knew he was in the wrong. If Kyle was his crazy girlfriend, Stan was a toxic, overprotective and insecure boyfriend. The reason for his explosive anger recently was largely due to jealousy; over people interacting with Kyle in ways he deemed inappropriate; over people both he and Kyle had known for years, and exhibited behaviour they had come to expect. Why did he grab and shove at Cartman for ripping on Kyle, when before he may have verbally supported the redhead, as opposed to physically stepping in like a total meathead? Why did he toss and turn at night thinking of the way Kenny had moaned being hugged by their mutual friend, knowing he was in the throes of a strange and unpredictable condition, and confined for it?

And why did he find himself scowling across the lunch hall, as he watched his dear friend laughing and having fun, after days of smiling politely through the grief when he was patronisingly comforted by the girls and Butters, with that smart-ass David?

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Stan asked for the eggplant lasagne, and carrot cake too, but not for himself. He doubled back to talk with Chef, making Clyde groan behind him, anxious to get his lunch. 

"What's on your mind, Stan?" Chef asked, dependable as ever. 

'Kyle, mostly', he thought inanely. Deep down, Stan had figured out what he felt for Kyle was deeper and more complex than the straightforward feelings of friendship that used to be mutual between them. Stan had already faced similar shilly-shallying hesitancy with Wendy, but Wendy was a girl, and he had nothing to lose when asking her out, as they hadn't been close friends until that point. He had absolutely everything to lose if he messed things up with Kyle.

"It's, um..." Stan moved back to let Clyde, Red, and Lola pick their meals, hoping to be alone when he asked what he needed to. "I have... a problem, Chef." He said.

"Why am I not surprised?" The man chuckled softly as he plated up Lola's food, and Stan spoke again when she sauntered away. 

"I have, this friend. He's super obsessed with, uh, another person that he's really close with. But it's totally ruining their friendship. Now they're drifting apart because he's embarrassed of how jealous he gets when he sees him - uh, her - them! With... Other people." Stan muttered neurotically, barely able to make eye contact with Chef as he awkwardly explained his predicament in the third-person. 

"Okay, so your friend has feelings for this person that are pretty strong, by the sound of it. Has your friend tried letting the other person know how much they mean to him?" Chef asked, a glint in his eye making it seem like he had already figured out this was about Stan.

"H-he wants to! But... They totally hate him now. He said something super horrible to them when they were fighting, so they aren't speaking... What should he do, Chef?"

"Well, Stan, first off I think your friend should apologise for whatever they said. I'm sure if the other person values the friendship, they'll accept the apology. After that, you can extend an olive branch by doing something nice for them, and tell them just how much they mean to you." Chef explained, gesturing wisely with his hands. 

"Thanks, Chef - I mean, wait. I-it's not me, it's my friend, dude." Stan stuttered, blushing. 

"Oh, so you weren't talking about you and your little friend Kyle? You've been avoiding each other, so I assumed -"

"N-no! W-who told you?" Stan demanded, his face flushing a deeper red.

"Well, uh, I don't believe I'm at liberty to say," Chef laughed helplessly. "Anyway, was that all you wanted to ask?"

"U-um..." Stan's thumbs twiddled nervously against his lunch tray. "A-after I tell them, how I feel... What should I do? How do I show them I'm serious? I don't think things can go back to the way they were before, I need to prove my feelings are real..." If Kyle even liked guys, and that his type included Stan, he added inside his head. 

"Usually I'd recommend you get them all hot and bothered, to pave the way for some sweet lovin', but I don't think you boys are old enough for any of that yet..." Chef stroked his chin thoughtfully, while Stan's mouth gaped open in mortification.

"D-duh! Chef! What the hell?" 

"Alright, alright, my bad. In your case, just tell him how y'feel, then if he accepts those feelings, you can give him a lil' kiss on the cheek. He probably won't be scared off by that, take your time. You boys are young, you'll figure it out!" Chef concluded, covering the r=emaining food to keep it warm. 

Stan was silent for a moment, his thoughts flicking through all the ways this could go wrong. But he didn't feel scared, he focused on what Kyle might look like as he kissed his cheek softly, and stroked the knuckles on his hand as he held it, and he found himself feeling braver than ever.

"Thanks, Chef... And, uh, you wouldn't tell anyone about this, right? Especially not Cartman."

"Don't test me, children. Like I spend all day frettin' about every case of puppy-love in the damn school. Run along now!" Chef playfully slapped the dish towel he was holding across the counter, and Stan smiled as he left.

-

The last two days had been the loneliest Kyle had ever felt in his life. After the initial sting of Stan's comment had died down, the time spent away from him was insult to injury. He was torn between desperately wanted Stan to come and apologise to him, or never speaking to him again. Kyle liked to think he could continue to be obstinate and shrewdly aloof when the time came, but when Stan sat down at his table across the hall and immediately set his sad eyes upon him, Kyle's heart thudded against his chest dolefully. He was sure he hadn't managed to school his vulnerable expression to be coldly neutral in the few seconds they gazed at each other, and he cursed himself as he snapped his attention back to his food, wanting to finish it and get out as soon as possible.

David had been chatting to him casually about an annoying regular from his family's Mexican restaurant; Nueva Familia; but stopped when he noticed Kyle had gotten distracted.

"You okay? I hope I'm not boring you, sorry for complaining so much about the guy - he just drives me crazy!" David said self-consciously, always looking for Kyle's approval before he could speak his mind. 

"What? Oh, no dude, you're fine. My bad for spacing out on you like that, what were you saying?" Kyle rambled, his heart still thumping from his brief eye contact with Stan.

Kyle knew he could be unbearable at times, but he didn't realize it was so bad that the person he trusted most in the world would turn round and hurt him the way he knew would cause the most damage. Kyle already grated on people by borderline policing their inappropriate or harmful behaviour, known as a buzzkill to his classmates, and the 'mom-friend' to his inner circle. 'Mom-friend' was a term of endearment in most people's eyes, but it tended to turn Kyle's stomach. 

Kyle loved his mom. She was wise, strong, dependable in a crisis, tenacious and uncompromising - all of which Kyle envied, and wouldn't mind emulating himself. But everyone in town knew her, whether through first-hand experience or gossip from a family member, everyone knew Sheila Broflovski. The impact she had on people was always lasting, regardless of the positive or negative connotations. When Kyle first learned the definition of the word 'polarising', he instantly attributed it to his mother. 

However, most other kids in his grade had no clue what polarising even meant. When you were a kid, everything was black and white, bad or good, weak or sweet. 

And so everyone in school knew that Sheila Broflovski was 'bad'. She was a fat, big-mouthed bitch. Kyle knew that was the general opinion most of his peers had, and it sucked. They didn't care about her good traits, just that she was annoying and bossy, which led to 'Kyle's Mom' being the go-to put-down for anyone acting in a mildly over-bearing way.

Knowing he would be ridiculed by any kid if he told them - 'hey, that hurts my feelings, my mom isn't all bad' - all Kyle could do was yell and smack the shit out of anyone that got too cocky. The only person he had told his true feelings to was Stan. He even confided that he felt so ashamed when he was compared to her, and that he felt guilty to feel that shame. She might be a bossy bitch, but she was still his mom, even if he never wanted to turn out like her. 

They'd told each other they would never make fun of each other's parents again, because they didn't choose them, and that if they were ever turning too much like one of them that they would sincerely let the other know. Kyle didn't know if Stan was being sincere during their fight or if he had just said that to hurt him. If he didn't mean it, what did Kyle do to deserve such a cold betrayal of his trust?

Kyle inadvertently got lost in his thoughts again as David continued, and Kyle pretended to listen, until he stopped talking and Kyle was forced to look up from his food. 

"Hey, um, did you get some cake for yourself? I know it's not your favourite, but, I got you some, just in case," Stan mumbled timidly, pushing the dessert next to him before nervously fidgeting with his hands, then settling on shoving them in his pockets.

Kyle was so stunned he was being spoken to right now the gears in his brain started to jam, unable to formulate a quick response. He looked dumbly between Stan and David, the latter of which grimaced awkwardly in sympathy. 

"You don't, have to eat it, obviously. I just, thought I should try and be nice to you after how shitty I was." Stan continued, scuffing his feet against the floor shyly.

"... You think cake's going to fix what you said?" Kyle prompted, setting down his cutlery and rolling his eyes. 

"No, I don't... I'm sorry," Stan stated, finally lifting his eyes from the ground and locking them with the redhead.

Kyle couldn't say anything, his throat hitched and his heart ached at how much he needed this from Stan. He distantly imagined what a gormless face he must be making right now, but he hadn't the presence of mind to correct it.

"I can't say a part of me didn't mean it, but it was completely unfair - it went against our deal. And... You were right to say my behaviour sucks, and it is making us shitty friends. But that's my responsibility, not yours. These mood swings are getting out of hand, a-and, I don't want to take my anger out on you or anyone else, so... I'm gonna ask my dad and Dr. Mephesto if they can test me. Maybe they can do something for me."

No one spoke at their table for a moment, which gave any drama lovers the opportunity to tap their friend on the shoulder and direct them to the action. Kyle felt like the poisonous gossip spotlight was going to set him aflame like an ant on the sidewalk, targeted by a magnifying glass, but he cleared his throat and plucked up the courage to respond to his friend. 

"Okay. Thanks for telling me." He replied in a very clipped way, struggling to think straight under the torrent of emotions flooding him.

Stan smiled at him for the first time in days, and Kyle's brain almost started to melt completely. It was only for a few seconds, but Kyle felt his own eyes softening and his stubborn will to remain behind his emotional wall of ice dwindling. 

"And... If it's okay with you, could you come over to mine after school? I have something I want to tell you before I go for testing - I don't know how long I'll be gone for." Stan asked him, the soft plea in his voice and the fear of rejection in his eyes making Kyle's eyes grow wet, his jaw clenching as he suppressed a whimper. 

"... I'll come. I'm sorry, too." Kyle choked out, just barely holding back the tears. 

"Okay, see you later." Stan held out his fist for their usual goodbye. 

Kyle instinctively touched his knuckles to Stan's firmly, their eyes not parting until their fleeting fist-bump was over. 

Stan left, and Kyle sat in abject stupefaction, stumbling over his words when David asked him if he was alright. Kyle liked to think he was, now.

Kyle thought of what Chef had told him yesterday, and tried to telepathically send his thanks - 

'Don't worry, Kyle. If I know Stan, I'll bet he's just as tore up inside over this as you. Stay patient, he'll come around.'

-

Stan was pacing around his room, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans every few minutes, as he rehearsed what he was going to say. 

"Kyle, I like you, I want to be your boyfriend," Stan nodded to himself in the mirror for the twelfth time, trying to affirm the statement in his mind. 

"Ugh... That's so, fucking boring!" He complained to himself, jumping on his bed and clutching his head in his hands. "What the fuck do I say?" 

Taking a moment to calm down, he mulled over what Chef had advised him to do earlier.

"Fuh... Okay..." He sighed, flapping his hands around in an embarrassingly camp way as he stood again. 

"Kyle, I like you. I'm sorry, again, for acting like such a psycho lately. It's no excuse, but, the way I feel about you is driving me insane. I get so jealous when I see you with anyone else, even though I have no right to be!" He took a deep breath before going on.

"I don't know if you feel the same way as me, but I couldn't go on the way I was. It's torture having to explain away all the dumb stuff that I do or say, when the reality is... I'm just going crazy trying to keep you safe and keep your eyes on me." He trailed off, his instinctual words finally making sense in his own mind of what he had spent so long trying to decipher. 

"Who's the lucky girl?"

Stan gasped and whipped round to see a familiar face peeking through his doorway. Kyle simpered apologetically, and crept into Stan's room gingerly, sorry for making his friend jump. 

"Hey! Uh, it's not much, but I wanted to give you my Court of Owls Batman books. You said you hadn't read them, so... You can read them while I'm away and tell me what you think when I'm back." Stan lightly tapped the pile of books on his desk, before drawing closer to Kyle uncertainly. 

"Oh, thanks, man. You don't need to keep giving me stuff though, just..." The redhead fiddled with the zip on his open jacket. "Just, being able to talk to you again is enough," Kyle finished quietly, looking up at Stan fondly as he approached. 

"Did you wanna tell me something?" He inquired softly, the two of them gazed at each other tenderly for a few seconds before Stan spoke.

"Uh... Yeah. C'mere, come sit with me..." He said, wrapping his fingers around Kyle's wrist lightly and guiding him to Stan's bed. 

Their shoulders brushed as they sat together, both unsure of where to go from here. The flicker of hope that had been sparked in Kyle's chest when he walked in had only bloomed in intensity, and he found himself almost vibrating in anticipation of what might happen next. Kyle had always liked Stan, of course, but there had been many moments where he was sure there was something more than friendship between them, only to have his expectations completely obliterated. Kyle was used to talking himself down and not getting his hope up, so perhaps they both sensed that for anything to happen between them, Stan had to make the first move.

"I dunno, how to start this, but, how much of my gay little monologue did you overhear when you came in?" Stan asked, laughing self-deprecatingly.

"Just the part about keeping her safe and... Her eyes on you? Pretty poetic, don't think you'll go wrong with whoever you use it on," Kyle smiled back self-effacingly, but he didn't laugh.

"It's not... It's not for a girl, dude." They stared at each other gravely for a second.

"Oh! Uh... Are you coming out to me? That's cool dude, I support you." Kyle continued to smile naively, and Stan fought the urge to pinch his eyebrows in frustration. 

"Yeah, something like that," Stan bit back the retch that wanted to leave his throat thanks to his shot nerves, and delicately took Kyle's hand in his own, making the other boy flinch minutely. 

Stan knew it was now or never, it didn't matter how goofy he was, as long as he said it.

"I like you," Stan kept talking, even watching the redhead's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and even while his body desperately tried to dry heave.

"You're the one I wanna keep safe. You're the one whose eyes I want on me, always. I know it's probably gonna be a lot to take in, but, I only figured out how I feel super recently. And I-I know you don't like being coddled, or underestimated, that's not why I want to protect you, I just, like you so much, you mean the world to me," Stan's voice shook as he started to get emotional.

"And the thought of you being with someone else, or being tied up in a fucking lab and experimented on like Kenny is killing me. Even two days being apart is fucking agony, Kyle. I don't know when I got so lovesick, but I just... I had to tell you. I don't know if my hormones are making me crazy, I just know that the way I feel about you is my only anchor. Give me another chance, dude, please." He finally closed his eyes to wipe away the tears that had welled there out of his control.

While he hadn't broken eye contact once when he was speaking, Stan didn't have the strength to look at the other boy after he wiped his eyes, staring at a faded stain on his carpet as he waited for Kyle's verdict. 

After a long, shaky intake of breath, Kyle gave his answer.

"God, Stan, you don't need to beg me for another chance," Kyle hiccupped, fat tears rolling down his flushed freckled cheeks. "I-I've loved you forever, stupid. My eyes - they were always on you, if you'd looked." A pitiful sob escaped the ginger boy at the end of his confession, his body shaking with the sheer overwhelming reality that Stan, his Stan, liked him back. 

Stan looked up from his hunched-over position that he'd taken to shield himself from any potential rebuffing, mouth agape at the things being said by his best friend and crush. He seized the opportunity, tightening his grip on the slender hand still in his grasp, he took his opposite hand and reverently caressed the crying boy's cheek.

Kyle stilled as he was touched, Stan's thumbs delicately clearing away the tears that streamed down his face as they gazed into each other's eyes. Stan thought back to Chef's PG-rated advice to kiss Kyle's cheek, but as he stared down at the other's glossy, rose lips, he couldn't resist softly pressing his own against them. 

Kyle melted into the kiss almost immediately, his eyes fluttering closed. Stan knew how long he must have waited for this moment, empathizing wholeheartedly. He relished the muffled 'mmph' against his lips as he moved his hand down Kyle's cheek to the nape of his neck, playing with the curls under his hat. The redhead shivered as they locked lips in earnest now, and Stan sucked the ginger's plump bottom lip softly, as he felt Kyle's free arm snake shyly around his waist. 

They kissed like that for a little while, both of them soon tentatively teasing the other's lips with their tongues. Breathing through their noses for the most part, the odd moan or gasp escaping in the brief moments where their lips were parted, neither of them pulled away fully until Stan accidentally knocked Kyle's hat off while toying with his hair. 

Kyle glanced at his displaced headwear, panting softly, before returning his attention to Stan. 

"Whoops," Stan giggled, and Kyle bit his lip and laughed with him, as he buried his head in the crook of the other boy's neck.

Stan stroked his back gently as they both caught their breath, neither of them wanting to leave the other's loving embrace just yet. They were emotionally laid bare before one another, neither of them feeling vulnerable under the other's eyes anymore, as their hearts finally felt in-sync. 

-

Author's Note:

Currently hating myself because I fucked up the flow I had with the last chapter. I split it up because it was too long, but then I decided to include the Stan/Kyle argument + kiss, so the Kenny part will be NEXT chapter. You may punch me in the mouth once for this indiscretion. I didn't outline this part either so it may be riddled with mistakes, but bear with me! I will edit it as soon as I can.

I'm going to TRY to have the horrid non-con scene next chapter, because I just want it out of the way now, I might be subconsciously avoiding it or something, lol.