the heart broken

DISCLAIMER
(this isn't really a story or fan fix or anything but
it's just a spur of the moment writing.)

and there i was. there they were. standing there. hugging each other. they looked so happy. they looked so...in love. and then again. there i was. just standing there. staring at them. for a second, just a second, i could see me as her. then again, it was just a second. as i walked out the building i thought about that moment. i replayed it in my head. over, and over, and over again. i would do that for a long time. and soon i would look at him, look at her, look at them, and imagine how it would be if i was her. if only. no matter how much she change their hair, no matter how much she change her style, i would always imagine myself as her. and then the heartbreak. of course the heartbreak. all the thinking he had always liked me, the thinking we both felt as there was something there that made us more that friends, but no. i was wrong. like i always was. all that imagining, planning, building up the confidence, for nothing. but then, bam. i snap out of it. i keep walking. just keep walking. that's all that matters now. i get to the bus, my music playing, thinking about how much i wanted to cry. just wanting to cry. how i felt so...so...disappointed, so frustrated, so...bleh. about everything. about why her. why not me. what's so wrong with me? am i not his type? is it because we're best friends? these past 5 months he made me believe something else. he told me he was my best friend. he told me he was my only friend. he said that he made me happy when i was sad, he said he made me laugh when i had a bad day. just choose me over her. when you think about her, think about me. about how you want me instead of her. just want me...