Farah Dowling - Fanfiction

Trust - Let me help (abusive parent)

Lost in her thoughts the headmistress of Alfea looks out of the window, watching the pupils arive after their summer-break. Happy chatter amd shining eyes remind her that she did a good job as headmistress. The pupils like being Alfean and enjoy their time at school as much as the time with their families. Just one girl is standing a bit aside. Tia, was new in the middle of last year. She changed school mid-year, after being bullied in the one before, and her former headmistress suggested a new start in a new school. The former headmistress had a private talk with Farah and told her about her worries regarding the girl. And after teaching the girl Farah has to agree: Tia had a serious problem with her self-esteem, afraid to open up. One would say, no wonder given the history of bullying, but according to the former headmistress her self-esteem was already low before the bullying started. It made her an easy target for her peers. At Alfea, so far everyone tried their best to make her feel comfortable. Still Tia hasn't made any friends last year, keeping most of the time by herself. Her performance in class wasn't excellent either, which showed on her report. However, one would have thought the holidays did her well,but she seems even more timidly than before the summer. Farah frowns, but than shakes her head, that's a problem she'll solve another time. Right now she needs to welcome the first years and then a lot of paperwork is already waiting for her at the desk.

Tia meanwhile moves into her suite. Selena, Cara and Jane, the roommates of last year already waiting. While the others chatter along about their holidays, she puts her things away in an orderly manner. Afterwards she quietly tags along the others to dinner and falls asleep soon after. She awakes earlier than the others. Taking her clothes she locks herself in the bathroom to change into jeans and T-shirt. The others never locked the door or minded to change in front of the others, but she wasn't them. Although she was looking forward to coming back, she isn't so sure about now. She knows it's kind of her own fault, she hasn't any real friends, but she can't help it. Being around others makes her even more self-conscious and reminds her of her own shortcomings. She dreads having to perform her magic in front of others, who are so much better than her, again. As feared she makes a great many mistakes in class that day and the ones following. The others try to comfort her, but unsuccessfully. Miss Dowling and her classmates are as nice as possible to her, but she still keeps to herself the most of the time, as last year.

A few weeks in the ultimate MCA happens: Miss Dowling wants them each to show their control over their elements. At first every thing goes perfectly well. Tia, as a water-fairy lets the water form into one big water-bubble and then makes it float over the bowl. However, just before she gets the chance to finish the exercise one of her classmates drops their book accidentally and Tia cringes, loses control and the water-bubble bursts flooding herself and the place around her. Soaking wet as she is, the others can't help but laugh. Although she knows they don't mean bad, it's to much for her and she runs out of the room into the suite, deaf for her classmates and Miss Dowlings concerned shouts. By the time she gets to the suite she feels cold in her clothes. Turning up the music, she quickly gets out of her clothes. After changing into a new pair of jeans her eyes caught a glimpse into the mirror. Her hair is still wet, and on her back there are big red weals. She doesn't hear the knocking on the door, so when she hears Farahs horrified gasp she flinches and quickly puts a new t-shirt on, before jumping around. She doesn't dare to look the headmistress in the eye. "It's not what it looks like!", she says trembling and tries to pass by the headmistress. But Farah holds her back. "I am sorry, it wasn't my intention to invade your privacy, but now I am glad I did. Why didn't you tell anyone? Who did this to you? Please, Tia, talk to me..." "That's none of your business", Tia shakes free from Miss Dowling's grip. "I'll await you in my office after dinner", Miss Dowling whispers while Tia storms out of the room. Deep in her thoughts Farah goes back to her class. Hopefully, Tia does not do anything ill-advised. Hoping that in the evening the girl had enough time to come to terms that her secret wasn't a secret anymore. Hoping that Tia might trust her enough to tell her the truth and maybe ask for help, finally...

In the evening Farah makes tea in her office and anxiously waits for Tia to come. She hasn't spoken to the girl after the incident, but saw her briefly at dinner. Just when she thinks Tia won't come, she hears a knock on the door and Tia enters shyly. "You want to talk with me?", Tia asks quietly. Farah doesn't answer right away, but indicates her to sit down on the couch and offers her a cup of tea, before she calmly starts to speak:"When I became headmistress of Alfea, I made a decision to become a figure-head. To become somebody my pupils can look up to, but also somebody they feel comfortable enough with to share their worries and problems with. I am sorry, if I have failed you. I might seem to be sure about everything I do, but I'm not - I doubt myself and my decisions sometimes, like everyone does. When I was around your age I had the same problems like every teenager has them, I think. I did not feel beautiful enough, my magic wasn't always doing exactly what I wanted it to do, there were disappointments...but I had friends who I could share my problems, my doubts, everything that was going on. And they shared their life and life-troubles with me. It didn't always solve the issue, but it certainly made it easier to carry, knowing I am not alone. And I was privileged to know that Alfea is a place where I can discover myself, try new things, fail and start again - a safe place to grow up, with teachers who are eager to help and guide me! That hasn't changed since - Alfea still wants to be this safe place and we teachers do everything to ensure it is..." Not taking her eyes from the girl she takes a sip from her tea, patiently waiting for Tia to speak by herself. Tia has listened to the headmistress speech and is processing the words. She looks at her cup of tea, while thinking and pondering the words to say. Eventually, she breaks the silence of the room. "He isn't bad, you know? He is trying the best he can...but he is under a lot of pressure since the death of my mother. Their love for each other was deep and pure and when she died something inside him broke. He began to drink and he made up his mind, that I, as his daughter should become more powerful than he or my mom was. My mom died when I was a small child, killed by burned ones and when he wants me to be powerful, he wants me to be able to defend myself better than she was and every tool is right to get there...but I am no warrior, no powerful fairy I am timid and weak...", she whispers looking at Miss Dowling uncomfortably. Farah smiles sadly:"Strength is in the eye of the beholder. For me it is strength, that you told me the truth, just now. You are a warrior in your very own way, as is everyone else who has to find their way in life. Although I wished you would have confided in one of us earlier, instead of fighting alone... He is your dad, and he certainly has some problems, fears, and maybe he even has good intentions, but violence is never and I want to emphasize that, never the right way. Abuse is never and isn't ever going to bring out the best in people. If anything, it makes matters worse. Who is able to perform their best, if they have to fear of being punished for mistakes that are only natural when learning new things? How should one gain self-confidence, while being kept small? He is your dad, and I believe you, that he loves you, but his actions are under no circumstances acceptable. I am sorry, you had to endure this, and I promise you that I will do everything to make things right, if you let me?" Tia gulps. She nods:"What will you do?" "I am going to invite your father for a conversation. I suggest he will go on rehab, work on his issues...there are some experienced institutions with quite capable mind-fairies. But first, I want to make sure you are alright. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you, but you need to know that nothing of this is your fault. It is nothing you have to be ashamed about. I suggest you confide in your roommates, they are sympathetic girls, eager to become your friends. You don't have to tell them everything, but give them a chance to gain your friendship. Everything is easier with friends! What I would like to offer you is extra classes, no spectators, no judgment, just you and your magic...",expectantly Farah looks at Tia, who answers with a shy smile."Extra-lessons, alone, sound good...and maybe I'll try to open up more, but it's not easy, especially after the bullying at my old school...." Tia and the headmistress stand up. "It is not easy, nothing worthwhile is, but you can do it! And if you need anything or just somebody to listen to you, my office is always open for you..."