From the Life of Riley Black

Chapter Five

⚠︎𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚: This chapter contains mentions of murder.

Chapter Five

Riley Black

Dear Noah,

It has been a month since Ryland and Ciara's wedding. I didn't attend, and now my mother refuses to call me her daughter. Just as I'd predicted.

On the day of the wedding, my mother came into my room and presented me with a blue dress for the wedding. She'd smiled at me kindly and said: "Riley, my child, get dressed and come out." She waited at the door when I went to change, seemingly happy that I didn't protest.

I thought this would be a valid excuse to leave my room. I thought the voices wouldn't protest this time, I thought I wouldn't forget midway and wonder why I had a dress on. I was wrong.

I put the dress on and walked out, but when I saw my mother, I lost track of everything. I looked down at my dress and pondered, but I didn't know what was going on. She smiled and told me to follow her to her room, but as soon as I reached the door, they yelled at me and told me to stop. I recoiled, clutching my head, and choked on a sob. This was the worst episode yet. I cried, clawing at my hair and pulling. My mother looked alarmed. When the voices subsided, I looked at her. She looked like she didn't recognize me. I almost laughed.

"What was that?" She demanded. "Another one of your ploys?" I tried to tell her no, but the voices yelled again, and I clutched my head tighter.

"You killed him!" They screeched. "He deserved someone better. You caused it." I cried, desperately wanting the voices to stop. By this time I'd come to my senses and wanted nothing more than to tell my mother what was going on. I didn't want her looking at me like I was a man woman.

The voices got louder and I dropped to the floor. "Shut up!" I screamed. My mother was angry now.

"Riley Black, you will stop this instant. You've pulled enough stunts like this." I cried harder. "When you are done, get a ride to the wedding. I hope I see you there." And she left.

I sat there, wondering when the voices would leave, if they would ever get tired. I couldn't get up. I was too emotionally drained to move. I stayed like that the whole day until everyone came home. It was only then my mother announced in front of everyone that she was disappointed. And the way she looked at me, I could tell it was enough for her. I tilted my head and then laughed, because this only confirmed what I'd been thinking. Then I looked at Ryland and Daisy and thought about how they would forget me.

They haven't, at least not yet.

Daisy brings me food and water when I feel like eating. It's the only way I can stay alive. And when she isn't here, Ryland fills in, though I can tell he's rather reluctant. Ciara and Richard moved out, but when they come to visit, I see the pity in their eyes, and it makes me mad. They don't understand a single thing I've been through. None of them do, and yet they look at me like they understand. What makes it worse is that Ciara suddenly has an ounce of sympathy to give.

The voices are reduced to a mere whisper as I write to you, Noah. I don't know when you'll finally reply. I don't know if you will reply, but please, I need someone who knows me and what I'm going through to talk to. I need someone to keep me sane, to keep the voices at bay.

I wish I hadn't taken the time I could have talked to someone for granted. My therapist quit, and my mother won't get me a new one. I wish she would. I wish I had talked to Ryland or Daisy, or my mother – if she'd understand – or Richard or Ciara. Anyone would do.