The Bright Colours of Misery [COMPLETED]

𝙸𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙳𝚄𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 -our golden rule-

Don't get attached to humans. An important thing I heard plenty of time 400 years ago, when I guided my first soul, after my death. It is one of our golden rules.

When a new person is given to me, I think of this rule, and I still to this day find it ridiculous. I know I will get attached to my brand new little human. I'll watch them grow up, make mistakes, learn from these mistakes and hopefully I'll see them succeed in their life. The world wants us advisers to play with life, with souls  as if it all were a chess game, but cannot. I love my humans.

They really become my friends, or even my children. The emotion I share with them is the only thing reminding me of how it was to live, and I would never wish to forget how it felt to be angry, to be sad, to be confused or even incredibly happy.

However, this comes with a price that many of my kind wouldn't be willing to pay.

You get attached, you get hurt.

It hurts to let them go, It hurts to see them suffer, but only if you get attached.

If you guide them like you would a chess piece, you do not care.

Sometimes I wonder if those who do that, who play by the rules ever get lonely, or if they only save themselves from heartbreak, from pain.

I existed free of pain for very long

For a little less than 300 years, I got lucky. all my humans lived long lives, with ups and downs of course, no life is perfect, but they left the earth with few regrets, and very few nightmares haunting them. But then came Heidi.

Heidi Franziska Seide.

A name that continues to haunt me half a century after her death.

My first girl, my first war. I still wish I could do it all over again, and avoid the inevitable.

Unfortunately that is not how life works.

It is wonderful, beautiful, difficult and painful, but it is never fair.

Life is not fair.

I managed to guide 3 humans before I knew that, or rather remembered. I have forgotten a lot about my past life, apart from a few faded memories, none of it is left, it's all lost forever.

I don't mind it, I have enough lives I can recall every detail of.

My first human has a special place in my mind.

He had beautiful dark skin and deep pigmented eyes that many women fell for over the years. He was a curious adventurer at heart and never stopped searching for discovery and knowledge until his very last breaths. a wonderful start for my eternal advising career and  the warm weather of central Nigeria was definitely something I would miss in future years.

I'm constantly reminded of my second, from an early age the brown haired boy had an unusual sense for music, he played the piano and the violin, and wrote his own tunes whenever he had the time. Some of his works passed the test of time, and on rare occasions, I come to listen to them again, which makes me both incredibly happy and utterly sad. I believe that is what you would call nostalgia.

But Julio is the one I'm most nostalgic about. I think about him constantly, because I was still naive when I advised him. I still believe people got what they deserved. He achieved his dreams after a lot of hardship, he died like the two others, content, without haunting memories.

Unlike Heidi.

I can think of more than ten reasons as to why I want to tell her story, but the most important is that I want everyone to see how she didn't deserve all the horror she went through. She was just a girl with strawberry blond hair, terrible eyesight and a love for art, but unfortunately she was born before the second world war.

side note

Before I begin, I feel the need to clarify that many suffered just as much

as Heidi,  and even more, a lot more. As I keep repeating, life isn't fair to anyone.

Now, I shall begin.