Letters to Myself (JOURNAL)

2/1/13: Time doesn't heal all wounds but I'm sure it'll heal mine.

    I was asked to tell the funny story of how I met you. I started off strong laughing a little after recounting what had happened. As I retold what had happened, a lump in my throat formed. I was unable to continue without stopping every few seconds to take a drink to soothe my throat. I finally fished telling it and immediately went to my room, shut my room and ran to my bed. I shoved my face into a pillow and yelled…well mentally anyways. Why is that you are so different from all the others? Sure I got to school with them and I seem them daily but I never thought about them like I think about you. Wondering and hoping you’re thinking about me, every song seems to relate to you in some way. It all scares me a little more each day; so much one person could change my life in such a weird way.

     Today everything was just distraction: school, the game, eating, talking to friends. At lunch I hit my bottom for the day. I realized just how much I hated school, I hate being around so many people when I'm nothing more than a shadow to them. The teachers: well there mostly there for the paychecks and even to those one or two teacher who teach because they love it, well they’re too busy to help me with my struggles on their classes. My only escape, and even healer, from school being a hell hole was 5th period, band. But today wasn’t my day to use it as my escape weapon, instead it was another distraction not an escape what so ever.

   So now I’ll lie my head to rest for the night and dream about what we could’ve been. Maybe, just maybe there’s still hope for us. Time doesn’t heal all wounds but I'm sure it will heal mine.