Oh, Pineapples.

14: Sell him to a brothel

tw: anxiety attack/panic attack

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" i wanna see the sunrise and your sins, just me and you,"

- ZAYN × Sia, 'dusk till dawn'
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"You know Javadd?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

She gave me a grin that scared me a little while she looked at me, hard.

"Let's just say we're family friends," she walked over to him, brushing some hair from his face.

"He's like a brother to me," she immediately said, as though she were guilty of something.

What the fuck?

"Maybe I should just take him home with me." I decided.

What was I thinking trusting a stranger I barely knew?

"Nah, that's BS. What the fuck could I do to him, sell him to brothel?" She laughed hysterically. "Don't worry, I got you babygirl." She reassured me, patting my arm.

"You sure?"

"Yep. Now help me get him to my dorm room cause I know he ain't light."

I laughed.
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Mondays were probably the worst thing. Nope, scratch that, second worst thing. The first spot to be taken by spiders.

I hated spiders more than anything. Their small eerily furry limbs creeping around anywhere didn't seem like anything that was supposed to walk this Earth.

I basically dragged myself to the next lesson which was art class, hopefully I'd find Luna there.

I spent the whole Sunday trying to reach both Javadd and Bryson to no avail. I was worried sick more about Javadd because I couldn't get myself to fully trust Mia, however I could catch Luna in art class and probably skin her alive if anything happened to Bryson.

I walked into the class and found our art teacher seated at her table, waiting for the class to start. As soon as I sat down, I heard the tardy bell ring almost making me bang my head on the desk.

A few people started walking in including Luna. I walked over to where she was sitting.

"Hey, have you heard from Bryson?" I bit the nail on my thumb.

"Yeah, this morning actually." She nonchalantly said as she took out her canvas from under the desk.

"So is his phone off or what?"
"Nope. He's totally ignoring you." She bluntly says.

"Ignoring me?"

"Ummh...that would be a yes."

"Why?" I deadpanned.

"I think that's a you and him conversation and not a you–and–me conversation, I don't know. But what I do know is that you should probably get back to your seat before Ms. Cheng gives you detention," her eyes averted to our art teacher who gave me a warning look.

I then shyly smiled at our teacher as I returned to my seat.

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I walked into economics class and then taking a seat at the back of the class, I waited for the lesson to start.

I wasn't even a huge fan of economics but I figured if I would want a multi- millionaire fashion I might have had to grasp the concept of the economy and how it worked, unlike mathematics which in all my school life made me fail to understand the magnitude of it's importance.

I was pretty sure at a job interview absolutely no one was to ever ask you the Pythagoras theory, but well that was the school system anyway.

Economics was probably the class with the most people as not many people desired to do Political science instead, which was the alternative in the final year for economics.

I for one, had a deep dislike for anything to do with politics as I had always believed that my father, being the politician he was, gave him a greed for as much money and power, hence why he was never home.

I'd spend most of my life trying as hard as possible to not end up like my father so to me, not taking Political science was a huge investment, more or less.

And even within the ruckus of the tens of people in the economics hall, I still spotted Javadd as he casually walked in to the class, not a single book, just a ballpoint pen behind his ear.

Where was he even going to write?

I could never get used to the butterflies I felt rising in the pit of my stomach everytime I saw him, and it frightened me and I chose to ignore it and and throw it right at the back of my mind.

I hated the way he made me feel, how much of my mind space he occupied during the day when I'd try hard to stop the smile from creeping on my lips. The kind of feelings that rose were a little familiar, too familiar, a boy I knew once made me feel that way before.

To say it hadn't ended well would've been an understatement of terrible magnitude.

I scanned the classroom once again, my chest suddenly feeling a little tight and my heart uncomfortably plummeting against my ribcage.

Were there this many people in the class before?

And before I knew it, my breathing became shallower as it felt like my windpipe was not allowing any air from my lungs. My hands were visibly shaking as I tried to get a grip of reality.

"Are you okay?" A muffled voice of a guy who's desk was on my right asked me.

Was I okay?

Is this how I would die?

Why were there so many people?

I didn't know why or where I wanted to go —I only remember desperately needing to get out of that classroom.

As if I wasn't in control of my own legs, I felt the weight from underneath me shift, weakening my my knees and before I knew it, I was on the floor, my hands wrapped around my knees, resisting the urge to spew out everything I had eaten for breakfast.

Distantly, I could tell whatever was happening to me had stirred some kind of commotion around me, as a lot of people tried to talk to me altogether, but the voices blended into a cacophony of muffles.

My heart felt as though it was very foreign against my ribcage and that was probably when the suspicion that I was under cardiac arrest was replaced with the thought that I may have had been going through an anxiety attack.

Everything around me turned into a blur as I unpurposefully breathed in and out, trying not to suffocate, my chest heaving and then as though it had returned after so long;

Darkness.

That was all I saw, not remembering anything else as I felt it all coming together —the memory hitting me like a brick at the back of my head.

Was this how I would die?

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A/N
hey loves!

i wrote this chapter describing an anxiety attack from my point of view, which may differ from y'all's but yeah, please comment what you think of the chapter. whether you liked or hated it.

and for anybody struggling with anxiety and/or depression, I'm right here- hit me up if you're tryna talk to someone. Or don't. I can't really tell you what to do lol.

pineapples and kisses 🦋
-nicole<3