Fckd Up// Ranboo Angst

51~- Phil's final ending.-~51

Ranboo's gone. But he's probably better than ever.

He was never happy, and most likely would never be happy. He was happy the first few days with us, but then Wilbur tried helping him and he crashed. It's not wrong of Wilbur to try to help him, he was doing the best he can, but Ranboo didn't want help.

Maybe Ranboo didn't like the pressure of trying to get better for people.

He didn't want people to like him or to miss him when he's gone so it can be quick and effortless.

He knew his dad wouldn't care if he died. If it was just his dad and himself he could get it over with and everyone would forget, maybe even feel bad for doing shit to him.

In my eyes, this might have been better than what could've happened. By the looks of it, his dad would've gotten worse and everything would've gotten worse for him.

It still hurts though, it hurts very badly for everyone.

Tubbo has been in his room and only came out to yell at Techno or wish death upon him.

Techno locked himself in the bathroom for days, he only came out to go home and he hasn't talked to Tubbo.

Tommy blames himself so much he can't even look in a mirror, he can't even hear his own voice without blaming himself.

And Wilbur... he's doing fine, I think...? His grades have improved, his room is always clean, his hygiene got better, and he's honestly better than ever... but then it crashes and then comes back after a while.

Me though, I'm not sure how to feel...

It hurts when you lose someone like that. Someone that you could think of like your own son.

Should I be sad that he's gone and will never return? Or Happy that he's gone and doesn't have to deal with shit anymore?

Should I throw a funeral even though he didn't want it? Should I move on and forget about it, as he wanted?

I'm stuck in the middle. The middle of everything.

Tubbo and Techno's bitch fit.

Tubbo's voices.

Wilbur's bipolar episodes.

Techno's harmful acts.

Tommy's coma-like periods.

Tubbo's depression episodes.

Techno and Tommy are hurting themselves.

Tommy "punishment" towards himself.

Wilburs behaviour issues.

Techno's everything!

Tubbo's everything!

Wilbur's everything!

TOMMYS EVERYTHING!

They put everything on one person, me! How am I supposed to get you to stop starving and shredding your wrists?! How the fuck am I supposed to fix your emotional problems?! How the fuck am I supposed to fix your little crush killing himself?!

I just can't do it all.

But still, I will try because I need to and don't blame them.

Most of the kids don't have anyone to count on so I'll do as much as I can.

————

This is going to be a messy letter. I don't know where to start or even what to say.

When we first met you on the bridge I knew there was something wrong and it might not be able to ever be fixed. Sitting on a bridge in the middle of a rainstorm isn't something you just do when you are okay.

When Kristen first met you she was obsessed with you. She wanted you to become our child in her eyes, she wanted you to look at us as if we were your own parents.

As bad as it seems I knew you'd never make it, I knew you could never have the time to see us as your parents. You'd never have the time to get better. You'd never have the time to actually live your life how you should and just be a kid.

We had our moments together with just us or everyone, we had our laughs as well, but I reckon it has to all come to a stop.

-Your possible Father...

Philza Minecraft (2020)

PLEASE GO READ MY OTHER BOOK "LIKE A ROCKSTAR" IT MAY NOT BE FINISHED BUT I SWEAR ITS BETTER THAN THIS ABSOLUTE RUBBISH

keep in mind that (2020) isn't when they died, it's when they wrote the letter for Ranboo/sent it to him lmao.