A Hymn of Snakes

FIVE

     I wasn't allowed to sleep.

A knock blistered at my door, I had slowly hoped it was Alex knocking on my door. However, I doubted he wanted to see me now. Not after all I've done to him. "Jesus Christ, no one respects sleep around here." I mumbled underneath my breath as I wiped my eyes. Slowly coming to the door of my room as I opened it to a familiar face. Squinting my eyes to the figure as he wrapped his arms around me. "You need to look up the definition of sleep Surano." I groaned as my old friend refused to pull away from our hug. Ironic because the last I knew he didn't want me near.

Surano smelt like whiskey and I immediately found the culprit, I tried to pull away from his grasp but he refused to release me. "Let me hold my best friend for a second." I slapped my arms down to the side of my body as I walked backwards, he followed me. I closed my door and latched the lock. Leaving my best friend clinging onto me for dear life. "I thought you were dead." He sobbed onto my shoulder, making my skin wet.

"Funny, considering the last time we spoke you threatened me." I snickered.

Surano continued and I just let him, I didn't know what it was like to have your best friend die on you. I knew what it was like to have one stab you in the back- but this was new. "I will apologize for that after I cry. I don't want you seeing me look like this, I look like my mother after she realized my sister wasn't pregnant." Fine. I almost laughed, but I had to remember the reason I wasn't just okay with Surano. So my mind went cold and I drew a blank. "I am the worst friend in the history of the world for making you feel guilty for you doing your job. I am an idiot and deserve to be beaten by the Gods." He sobbed again, I awkwardly patted his back as he continued.

Eighteen years of memories with Surano will do a lot to someone, he was my best friend and my biggest crime. "I don't think you deserve to be beaten but thank you." I added as he finally pulled away, he looked like a blubbering idiot.

I sighed as Surano coiled his fingers in the low strands of my hair, he looked at me with adornment. "Your hair is short and I love it." He told me and I nodded in response.

There were questions that ran through my mind as I watched Surano move, he turned away and stumbled around the room. "The Keepers allowed you to come visit me?" I asked already knowing the answer to that. There were two options that ran through my head- Surano was being truthful or he was being used to get to me. Either way I would open back up so easily.

"No but if being your friend has taught me anything it's that you can sneak in and out of anything when people are asleep." He winked.

I tried to change the subject, I never liked talking about my high school years. Those good memories were always so warped. The laughed and the smiled never lasted very long. "What was my funeral like?" I asked wondering what my father said. Wondering if my mother mourned my dead or if all my friends cried. I wondered what they said in response to my dying. What I was claimed to have done.

My shadows whispered to me, they all knew no one would mourn the death of a traitor.

Surano was quick in replying to me. "Ugly and grey, your dad made this... really heartfelt message about daughters. Your mother- well you know your mother. Casket was closed but the council was there so it looked official." He told me but something warned me that it was all wrong. This was all wrong. Legally, I was dead. I didn't exist anymore in my home country. "I had a feeling you weren't dead when they did a closed casket but none of us could prove it." None of us could prove it, but none of them tried.

My shoulders drew down with weight, I turned to face the mirror. Shadows grew over my head, they tormented my sadness.

"Should I have shown up with more pizzazz?" I added to the conversation which only allowed Surano to awkwardly laugh at me.