Faking It

[1]

[CHAEYOUNG'S POV]

I'm an orphan. Sister Gabriella (Ella) told me that she found me one night at the convent's doorstep. They usually send infants being left at the convent to the sister's orphanage. But I was a special case, I guess. Sister Ella told me that she felt something when she first carried me that made her decide that she'll take me in and raise me instead. All the people in the convent were all nice especially Sister Ella. She was like a real parent to me. I was quite pain in the ass back then, but she didn't mind. She loved me like her own. I'm not often vocal about it but I love her so dearly. I didn't even ask her about my parents even she's always reminding me that I was on their care for a reason.

One late night after I arrived from school, she called me to her room.

"Chaeyoungie... When will you start being a good girl? When I'm gone?" She's always like that.

"I told you Nana. I don't want you talking like that." I call her Nana because she's kinda old more of like my grandmother.

Nana: "And I told you to be a good girl, but you never listened. How could I leave you with that behavior of yours?" I really hate it when she's talking like this.

"Then I will never be a good girl so you can't leave me." She chuckled. Slowly. While coughing. I know she's having a hard time and it's killing me.

Nana: "I love you."

"Why are you like that?" I protested. Not because I don't want to hear it. But because it's like she'll leave me unannounced anytime.

Nana: "Come here and hug your nana." I went to her and hugged her while holding my tears back.

Nana: "There's a lot of kids like you who's needly of love. I won't ask much but when you had the opportunity to meet kids or anyone like you. I hope you share them the same love you have experienced here."

There I couldn't hold back more. I know it's almost time, but I don't want to let her go. I can't let her go.

The next morning, nana didn't wake up. Only God knows how devastated I was yet I'm still grateful that we managed to have our time before she left. I know I would handle it differently if ever I went home just to find that she's gone. And knowing Nana, she tried her best to wait for me.

Two months after Nana's passing, Sister Ana asked me if I want to volunteer in an orphanage probably kilometers away from the convent. She told me that I could study to the prestigious university nearby, which is one of the major sponsors of the orphanage, as a scholar. No second thoughts and I just accepted it. I know I have a life here, but images of Nana were everywhere. Besides, I want to show her that she raised me well and I want to grant her wish.

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I like the orphanage. The kids were lively and so energetic which was very helpful especially to a grieving person like me. The people are very welcoming and treated me good.

"Chayoung-ah... Come and I'll drop you at your school." One of the staffs at the orphanage said. The school where I enrolled is an hour away, so the offer is very convenient for me.

"Goodluck at your first day." She said after dropping me off.

"Thank you, ahjumma." Then I bowed. It's lucky that she has a meeting nearby and my school is along the way.

I'm hella nervous while walking along the hallway. You could tell by the way the whole surrounding looks how lavish my new school is. How the students I passed by wearing branded bags, shoes, clothes, etc.