The College Experience [Larry Stylinson boyxboy]

Chapter Three

**Trigger Warning: Panic Attacks** (there will be more throughout the story, so please be cautious!)

"Louis, Louis, Louis," Harry murmured, knocking gently at Louis' door. 710. There was a big sign he'd taped up that said, "RA's Room- Louis is: in!" There was a little out sign next to it so he could put it up when he left for classes (his class schedule was taped up as well), and his phone number was up in case of emergencies. Harry stood, trying to memorize all the words, all the numbers, pretending his hands weren't trembling. "Louis, please," he whispered, biting hard on his bottom lip, sucking on his lip ring, digging his nails into his palms and leaving half moon shapes dented in.

An extremely groggy version of Louis opened the door with a creak. "Hello?" he asked, struggling to open his eyes against the harsh fluorescent lights that stayed on all night in the hallway. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a slouchy white t-shirt with a band logo so faded Harry couldn't even read it.

"I'm sorry," Harry said quietly, tugging on his sweater sleeves as Louis squinted from the bright hallway lights. "I should go. I shouldn't have- I just-" His breathing was getting faster now, and he squeezed his eyes shut. He felt like someone was pressing on his chest, he just needed more air, just a little more air. His eyes were wide as he tried to focus on Louis, tried to focus on something but his green eyes just flitted around Louis' dark room, trying not to see shapes in the shadows.

"Harry?" Louis asked, his brows furrowing in confusion. He sounded like he were speaking underwater. "What are you...? Come in." Louis lead Harry toward his bed, closing the door behind them. Louis' room looked remarkably like Harry's (minus the roommate)- which was to say, a cream coloured box with half unpacked luggage and posters not taped up yet. Louis sat down on his plump green comforter and patted the spot next to him for Harry to join. "What's wrong, Harry?" he asked, gently, looking radiant in the soft lamplight.

"I'm overwhelmed, Louis. I get overwhelmed." Harry said, breathing rapidly. He swore he could hear his heartbeat, he wondered if Lou was hearing it too. He thought about his blood squeezing through his veins, his heart contracting over and over, his lungs like balloons ready to float away... he gulped at the air like a fish out of water.

"Okay, it's okay," Louis said softly. "Do you want to breathe for me?" He asked gently, making eye contact, locking his blue eyes on Harry's green ones.

Harry nodded, his jaw open slightly as he tried to breathe.

"Like this, okay?" Louis said, keeping his eyes locked on Harry's. He made his breathing a little exaggerated, keeping his calm eyes steady on Harry's watering ones as his breathing slowed. "Just like that, good job," Louis murmured. He kept breathing with Harry until they had found a soft rhythm and Harry lungs finally remembered how to function properly. "Has this happened before then?" Louis asked.

Harry nodded, his face warm with tears.

"Do you take any medication for it?" Louis asked, still making eye contact with Harry.

Harry shook his head, his curls swinging slightly. He sniffled.

"Have you ever seen someone about it?"

Harry nodded, closing his eyes.

"And what did they tell you?" Louis asked.

"They said I'm just, that I just, I feel too much. Everything's just louder for me," Harry said, his words stumbling out. "Everything's just brighter and louder and faster and more, it's just so much more than it's supposed to be and it's overwhelming. But they didn't want me on anxiety meds, it all had bad side effects, they I thought I'd do better on my own. They think my brains just sensitive to like, to being alive and feeling things but everything feels too much sometimes. Its just too much right now, Louis." He was still crying, digging his nails into his skin before Louis took his hands and gently smoothed over the half moons in his skin.