Breathe

CHAPTER 5: NICK

I have always been good at waiting for Cassie. Back when she and I were best friends, I would always wait for her to get ready before going to school, I would wait for her after school, I would wait for her to finish reading her book, I would wait for her to wake up, and I have been waiting for her to tell me that she loved me, too. 

Our last encounter was something that I would've teased her for, the drama of it all, except I have never seen Cassie like that before. She was never broken. But now, she is. I can see it, I just don't know what to do with it.

Helping Cassie is second nature. It's instinct. But helping a broken version of her? One who doesn't seem like she wants to be helped? This is new territory for me. I have been trying to talk to her but she's closed up. I have been attempting to reconnect with her but all my advances are unwanted. Frustration is a light word to describe how I am feeling. 

"You can talk to me, Nick." Belle says quietly. She's looking out the car, deep in thought that I didn't notice I too, got lost in my own mind.

"Huh?" I ask dumbly. Belle may be my younger sister but she always felt more like a twin. It's as if she knows what is going on through my mind even when I am not saying anything. On this particular day, I know she knows I feel defeated because of Cassie.

"Come on, Nick. I know Cassie's been distant. I tried to approach her at school but she just seems... angry."

I look at Belle and see how this is affecting her. Sadness is written all over her face. I understand though, because I, too, probably have the same look on my face. I sigh and look at my hands. "I don't know what to do, B. I know something is wrong. She's damaged... like she's drowning and she's too tired to swim. But she doesn't want help, or at least that's what it feels like."

"I'm not wrong, am I? She's pushing us away, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is. I don't understand it, but our attempts are unwanted."

Belle reaches out a hand and holds mine. "Let's not push her, Nick. I don't think she'll crack anytime soon, but we can wait for her until she's ready."

"I have been waiting for her, B. But she's shutting me out."

"Nick, let her process. She's the most reasonable person we know. Let's give her the space she's asking for."

I take another deep breath and nod. Of course my sister is right. Cassie will come to me when she needs me, won't she?