Breathe

CHAPTER ONE: CASSIE

It is one of those days. The kind of day that you wish you can disappear. The kind when you are hopelessly and desperately asking the universe to have a button where you can fast-forward everything in your life and skip the parts that you know would break whatever is left of you.

I had everything planned out for the school year. I would go to school and keep to myself. I had high hopes that people from school actually changed over the summer and that I would be nothing but an old topic of a high school rumor that is no longer interesting, old news. I could be invisible, someone not worth anybody's time anymore. I mean, if my uncle didn't see me as someone of importance, surely the rest of the student population won't have any problems going on with their life and ignoring me.

But boy, was I wrong.

The moment I step out of my car, I see Lana start to whisper to her friends and point at me. I hear the words "freak" and "weirdo" from the people I pass by on my way to my locker. I pull up my hoodie over my dark hair and keep my head down as I navigate my way around the school. There was no chance in hell that this year would be easy. I honestly don't know what I was thinking this morning, believing people would somehow forget about me this year.

When they look at me, all they see is a freak. Someone who lived but didn't deserve the air she was breathing. A poor thing, left behind by her family. A loner. And you would be surprised to find out that despite my status as the school pariah, somehow the student population finds it necessary to talk about me even if I am nothing but a waste of anybody's time. How I hope I can get over this already and move out of this place.

I shake my head to clear out my thoughts. I cannot be thinking like this. I get my book for English Literature out of my locker and start walking towards our classroom when I bump into someone. "Sorry," I whisper without looking up.

"Cass?" A familiar deep voice says.

I look up and see him. NO. The moment I see his face, I immediately go around him and walk fast to the classroom, where I find a seat at the back of the classroom. Seeing him will break whatever facade I have going right now. Why did I have to have a class with him?

"Okay! Welcome back, Seniors!" Ms. Piper's chirpy voice says. "This will be your last year in our beloved school and I know that you guys are getting ready for the next chapters of your life... college! So with that in mind, I wanted to stir up things this year. For this class, you will be paired to one of your classmates, of my choosing of course, and you will be doing all your projects together. I understand that most of you have been together since Lower School, and I want to help you guys strengthen your bond with each other before you separate ways. Okay, so I will start pairing you guys up! Let's see..."

I took out my writing journal and opened it to the page where I left off. I write the ideas running in my mind for the short story I was writing, tuning out the voice of Ms. Piper. I'm pretty sure whoever will be paired with me will be begging to switch partners. I mean, who would want to be with me? I sigh.

"Ms. Dean? Cassandra Dean? Are you listening?" Ms. Piper's voice breaks through my reverie. I snap my head up and smile at her. "Sorry Ms. P, I kind of zoned out. I was too excited to hear about our projects for this year," I tell her with my sweetest smile.

Her gaze softens as she smiles at me. "Well, I am glad you are excited for this year. However we have enough time to discuss our future projects. For now, you need to know that I paired you with Mr. Nick Collins and I am expecting nothing less than perfect."

I stiffen at her words. Nick Collins? You have got to be kidding me. Ms. Piper goes on with pairing students and I am lost in confusion, anger and fear. In the absence of certainty and peace of mind, in the midst of grief and pain, I am a bomb, toxic and dangerous to those who will try to get close to me. If something sets me off, I would destroy anyone stupid enough to get close to me. And Nick? I will kill what would be left of Nick. He is pure and good, he is whole.

And I'm not. I am a mess, a wreck.
I am nothing but poison.