Hush, Hush Parody!

Chapter 3

Well for some reason you people wanted more so finally a year later I will give you what you want.

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During school the next day I came up with a list of reasons why I shouldn't be put next to Patch. Although he disturbed me in ways I couldn't describe, part of me also felt attracted to him in a repulsive way. My list so far wasn't very complex but hopefully would convince Coach to rethink his decision.

1) he smells like a shit took a shit on top of a shit
2) his asshole resembles the Mississippi river
3) sometimes late at night I touch myself to Taylor swift

I think those reasons justified why Vee should be seated next to me again.

When science class rolled around, I was surprised to find Patch already in his seat. He didnt realize I had entered and was admiring himself in a handheld leopard print mirror, practicing his duck face in a seductive manor. Instantly my inside clenched. How could he turn me on so much without even trying?

"Which pose looks better, less or more lip?" He asked when I approached, trying on different faces. I bit down hard on my own lip, trying not to show how much he got my horses running.

"I should add lipstick, shouldn't I?"

"Natural looks better on you," I told him, looking away.

All period long Patch stared at me. He purposely made a derpy face every time I looked his way. And to make matters worse, Coach made him recite his turn ons in front of the entire class, something every teacher is surely allowed to do.

"Personally, I look for three qualities in a wo-man. Does her hair smell as bad as Nora's? Will her pussy stank like Nora's does? And lastly, are her tits as tiny as Nora's? If the answer is yes to any of those, Ima hit it then quit it," he said.

"Fair enough," Coach replied. "NORA, you're turn."

"I don't feel comfortable answering that question."

"Alright then. Class, POP QUIZ! Who thinks they can guess NORA's qualities she finds attractive in a potential mate? Whoever guess them all first gets to keep the naked Barbie doll!" Coach yelled.

Instantly, half the class raised their hands. Oh no.

"Guys who have identity disorder!"

"Transgenders!"

"That hobo that lives under the bridge!"

"Hotdogs, she really likes hotdogs! "

Things got out of hand very fast. Soon students were screaming the most ridiculous things that didn't even make sense.

"FRENCH BRAID TABLE TOP"

"MUGBAR SISTA FIESTA LEG!"

"SNICKERDOODLE MUSHROOMS"

Crap! Who guessed that last one? Because they were correct.

It was no other than Patch. He had changed into leopard yoga pants and began doing slow squats less than a foot away from me, staring me straight in the eyes the entire time.

What was this class turning into?

"It was me who said that. Guessed right, didn't I? It might take a while, but slowly you'll understand we were meant for each other," he said, while slowly grinding on my chair.

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I need to stop this here. My thoughts are getting me carried away.

This was just getting too weird.