Hush, Hush Parody!

Chapter 1

Coldwater, Maine (I'm serious, you'll nip if you get in this water!)

Present Day

I walked into Biology and my jaw fell open and I slobbered everywhere. Mysteriously adhered to the chalkboard was a Barbie doll, with Ken at her side. They were naked except Barbie had a leaf where her private area was. A pencil eraser was glued to Ken's private area (Because as we know, Ken has no dick) and Barbie's hand was touching Ken's penis. Ken's hand was groping Barbie's boobs. Very school appropiate.

Scribbled to the chalkboard was:

"Welcome to Barbie and Ken's porn life, PORN, BABY, PORN!"

At my side Vee Sky said," Now I say something completely unimportant about the school's eZine, which is exactly like fucking Facebook but somehow different."

"So Vee, I thought you were looking forward to this topic. Sex is your thing."

"No it's not. Bondage is my thing."

"Vee? As in virgin?"

"No, V as in vagina cock rape."

I gave her a quizical look as we walked to our seats when the bell rang, because being myself, I couldn't handle any talk containing ...s...e....x....*shudder*

Coach blew his whistle and used it to beat the shit out of some kids not seated. Wow, he gets really freaky with that thing.

"Sex is not just something your dad should be giving you, it's also rape. What is rape? NORA!!!!! I'm calling on you specifically, what IS RAPE?"

"Science?"

"Exactly! Everybody hear that? RAPE IS SCIENCE! What is science? Who should I choose to answer the question? Hmm, how about NORA! What is science?"

"Knowledge gained through experimentation and observation."

"That is EXACTLY what rape is. Good job. Here's a condom." He throws a condom at me and I catch it. I throw it towards the back of the room, because as we know I won't ever be using it. It lands on the face of some guy named Patch, and he eats it.

"As a fallen angel, all I eat are condoms!" The whole class stares at him.

"So class!" Coach says, and holds up the barbie doll. "I have a VERY important question to ask. NORA, you get to answer it! Which colored leaf should I put on Barbie's private area? The brown one, the green one or the yellow one?"

"Um, the yellow one?"

"GOOD ANSWER. So Vee and NORA, you two know eachother pretty well. I bet you've seen each others insides and outsides, ect. MOVE SEATS."

"Awww!" Vee and I moan. Vee spoke up"But sir please-"

"NOPE"

"But-"

"NO"

"Coach-"

"HELL NO!"

I decide to intervine.

"Coach please?"

"Okay"

Patch jumps out of his seat and picks up Vee and throws her out a window.

"Call me Patch, I mean it, call me."

"Call me Nora, I mean it. Just call me Nora."

"I know exactly who you are. You are a crappy journalist, eat normal food that your mom always writes "organic" on the label so you think your eating healty, and writes poetry on huge billboards so it wont be seen."

He was dead on.

His finger slid underneath my chair and he scooted it closer to him. However, it fell and I landed painfully on the hard ground.

"Do you sleep naked?"

Wtf?

"Sometimes,...occasionally...okay fine every night. Big deal. I bet you do too."

"Nope. I sleep in a pink bunny costume. I'm a fallen angel, duh."

"My dad passed away last year."

"My foot fell asleep."

"He got murdered."

"Nevermind, it woke back up."

"I'm busy tonight."

"So am I. Want to hang out."

"No. But I'll show up anyways."

*Bell rings*

Vee walkes in.

"He's dangerous, Nora."

"Why? Because he threw you out a window?"

"Um, no. Because he didn't even introduce himself to me!"

"Oh."

"My next hook on the eZine atricle will be about how bad seating charts are....And Barbies..."

We look over to where Coach was making Barbie and Ken hump eachother.

Looks like I was stuck with Patch.

For now.

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

Lol hope you enjoyed(: Loves <3

~angel~