Maybe This Time

Chapter 5

I did everything I could para lang huwag ng isipin si Nikka. I'm spending my everyday with work and Charlie. Hindi deserve ni Charlie na masaktan, hindi ko s'ya kayang saktan. And today, I have finally decided na kapag tinanong n'ya ulit ako, I will definitely say yes.

Sakto naman na nag-aya ang barkada sa isang one week trip. Dad allowed me pero he told me to keep my lines open just incase. It's Jo's post birthday celebration at sa beach house nila gaganapin kaya solo namin. I was happy kasi I can be in peace with Charlie. Sabi ni Jai, after ng celebration we can relax and do our own businesses. Pwede raw mag solo ang mga mag jojowa, huwag lang daw masyadong maingay.

Nakakatawa kasi habang sinasabi n'ya iyon ay nakatingin lang s'ya kina Bree.

"Charles!" Tawag ni TJ from the passenger seat.

"Stop calling me my father's name!" nakabusangot na sagot ni Charlie ang cute lang parang bata. I chuckled and she looks at me "what's funny?" she pouts

"Wala, I just find you cute"

"Luh, ingat ingat baka ma-inlove ka" she jokes.

In love? Well, hindi naman mahirap ma-fall kay Charlie. She's charming and nice. She takes care of me, she's cuddly and she's smart. Malalim na tao, pero masayang kasama. Hindi naman ako magtataka if one day, I will fall in love with her.

I was busy watching Charlie and TJ throw banters at each other when Jai gasped loud enough to bring everyone's attention "Shit, I fucking forgot to tell Nikka na susunduin natin s'ya baka nag sariling sasakyan na 'yon"

That's why it felt like something is missing. Akala ko ay may nakalimutan akong i-pack.

"Baka nandun na yun" Jo said

I hope she drives safe.

--

Jo was right, Nikka is already here. She greets everyone except me again pero tumingin s'ya saglit sa akin. I sighed at pinilit ko nalang ngumiti na kunwari hindi ako affected sa ginagawa n'ya.

We all decided to just rest muna, sabi ni Dash walwal daw later. Kanya-kanya na kaming mga kwarto. We decided to share rooms by twos. Nikka's the only one solo, which I think gusto naman n'ya. But our rooms are across each other. I just hope hindi kami sabay lalabas ng pinto.

"You like to share the bed o dito nalang ako sa sofa?" Charlie asked

"Charlie this isn't the first time we shared a bed" We cuddle sometimes, I don't know why she still ask pero I appreciate she's respecting me well.

"Consent is important Mi" She smiled "cuddle na?" I nodded like a happy kid.

--
Around five in the afternoon when I woke up. Charlie is still fast asleep, kaya hindi ko muna s'ya ginising. Sabi rin n'ya kasi may tinapos s'ya last night na project. She really needs all the rest she can get. I washed my face and change my clothes before I went out.

Hindi yata ako malakas kay Lord kasi sabay pa talaga kami ni Nikka na lumabas. I smiled at her pero tumango lang s'ya and left me there. Ang ganda na  sana ng gising ko.

Mukhang tulog pa yung iba, dahil mga staff lang ng pamilya ni Jo iyung nasa labas. I told the care taker na maglalakad lang ako sa may beach she said okay, para raw may kasama si Nikka. Nag dalawang isip tuloy ako kung pupunta ba ako, kaya lang nakapag sabi na ako. Iiwasan ko nalang siguro s'ya kung sakaling magkasalubong kami.

She's just there, looking straight into the sea. Parang ang lalim ng iniisip n'ya, so much for iiwasan, may sariling buhay yata iyung mga paa ko kaya unti-unti ko s'yang nilapitan. I gave us a safe distance,  "Hi?" patanong kong bati

"Si Charlie?" she asked

"Tulog pa" I answered. Isang tanong isang sagot. Pero at least kinausap n'ya ako.

"I'm going back" sabi n'ya at tuluyan ng umalis. Hindi ko na naman s'ya hinabol, kasi halata naman na ayaw n'ya sa akin. Kahit yata maging magkaibigan kami ay hindi mangyayari.

My tears fall na mabilis ko rin pinunasan.

--
Hinarap ko yung barkada na parang walang nangyari. I focused on Charlie the whole night. She's a little tipsy kaya medyo inalalayan ko. I had a few shots but I know my limit. Besides, Charlie's a little mess when drunk. I paid no attention to Nikka. I just wanted to enjoy this vacation.

Charlie screamed kaya naman iyong atensyon ay sa amin na napunta "Yown!" she chirps happily then cleared her throat "now that I have everyone's attention, I would love to take this opportunity to do something na dapat matagal ko nang ginawa" nakaramdam ako ng kaba. At alam kong tama ang hinala ko. She's gonna ask me, hindi ko lang akalain na sa harap ng mga kaibigan namin.

She knows I don't like this kind of attention pero dahil alam ko rin na lasing s'ya and she tends to do things when drunk. Sa ganitong state n'ya lang kasi nagagawa ang mga bagay. Nasasabi ang mga hindi masabi. Charlie is an introvert and she tends to keep things to herself hangga't kaya n'ya.

Palagay ko ay kaya s'ya naglasing para magkaroon ng dagdag na lakas ng loob. But the pressure will be on me once she spill the dreaded question.

I can feel my friends' eyes on us, the aura na ng saya at kilig. Matagal na rin nila itong hinihintay. Biglang lumuhod sa harap ko si Charlie and Dash already filming us. Nakatayo na silang lahat at pumalibot sa amin. Except for one person of course.

"Mi, siguro naman napatunayan ko na sa'yo kung gaano ako kaseryoso. Unang kita ko palang sa'yo loyal na agad ako" she chuckles while I just keep my eyes on her. I can see and feel the sincerity kahit na may espiritu ng alak. Charlie's a lovely person "Will you give me the honor to be your girlfriend? No promises except for one thing" kinuha n'ya ang mga kamay ko "I promise to love you always"

It's probably the first time she said that word to me. Although I know naman deep inside that she really do love me.

Everyone is anticipating for my response. Pero hinanap ng mga mata ko si Nikka. She's not in her seat anymore. I looked back at Charlie's hopeful eyes "Charlie..." I swallowed the lump on my throat. biglang wala akong masabi, I wanted to say yes. Iyon naman ang tama, pero bakit ang hirap?

Yung dating siguradong sagot biglang hindi na. Yung taong pinangarap kong makasama ngayon ay hindi na ako sigurado. Yung saya sa mga mata n'ya napalitan ng lungkot at sakit. And when I looked at everyone I saw faces of disappointment. Pumikit ako saglit, baka nagulat lang ako. Huminga ako ng malalim bago ako sumagot ulit.

"Ye---" naputol ang sasabihin ko when one of the staff screamed. Lahat kami ay napalingon.

"Si Ma'am Nikka po nalunod!" and I think my world came crashing at the words I heard.

I ran...not minding how my friends will think. I left Charlie still on her knees.