Maybe This Time

Chapter 3

About a month since pinakilala ako ni Charlie sa mga kaibigan n'ya and we all ended up hanging out a lot. Mabilis gumaan loob ko kina Jai. Marami rin akong nalaman tungkol kina Bree.

She and Dash often fight at laging naghahamunan ng hiwalayan pero ang sabi nilang lahat, it's all part of their love story by now. Hindi rin naman nila matiis ang isa't-isa. And I think that's cute, in a way, na kahit anong misunderstanding, you both choose to fix it and stay.

Push & Pull... I wonder if Charlie and I will be able to do that.

"Mi," Charlie coos, kaya lumingon ako sa kanya abandoning my unfinished papers. I've been working from home para kay Dad, I just don't want to be in the office, nandoon kasi yung evil step-mom ko "Madz invited us sa monthly mini party n'ya, sa condo nila ni TJ"

Another thing I learned, Madz and TJ are best friends since diapers. They are inseparable, halos ipakasal sila ng parents nila. TJ said mabuti nalang at hindi kasi it might ruin everything. And I couldn't agree more. Turning platonic relationship into romantic will make it all complicated.

We're all humans, and we love making things complicated.

"Uhm? Miel? Ayaw mo ba? Hindi pa naman ako sumasagot kay Madz" my train of thoughts were interrupted by Charlie's worried question.

Umiling ako "No, we're going" I smiled

" You sure? Ang tagal mong sumagot"

"I'm sorry I was just thinking about these papers" palusot ko for zoning out. She nods and said ipagtitimpla n'ya ako ng coffee bago s'ya umuwi.

I looked at the clock hanging on my bedroom wall. It's ten passed eight already, ang bilis ng oras kapag busy ka.

Around nine umalis si Charlie, she stayed for another hour para samahan ako magkape. We talked a bit about what to bring for Madz upcoming mini party. We agreed to just order lots of Komi products, our friends will love it for sure. We're all a fan of yogurts and anything milktea-ish, if that's even a word.

While I'm washing the cups, my phone rang. It's Dad, ano na naman kaya ang kailangan n'ya?

"Paki sabi kay Rosario, wag s'yang pala-utos" I said not even guilty for calling my step mother by her first name. Ang banal ng pangalan, but her deeds are unholy, for example, inagaw n'ya ang tatay ko from my late mother. Imagine, hindi pa patay si Mommy ay nilandi na n'ya si Dad.

I heard him sigh, I know he's waiting for me to open up and give that woman a chance "Melinda, we've talked about this diba?"

"Dad, I told you it's too much for me. Tinanggap ko na nga na nagpakasal kayo kahit wala pang one year si Mommy, bumukod ako ng bahay so you don't have to choose between me and her" pangangatwiran ko.

"Why don't you try again?" muling paki-usap ni Dad.

This time ako yung nagbuntong hininga "I'm sorry Dad, I don't want to even look at her,because every time I do, it reminds me of how easy you moved on from my Mom, it's like you didn't even loved her" I hang up the phone. Hindi ko na hinintay makasagot ang tatay ko.

He'll just justify what they did. He'll insist that he loved my mother, I'm not a child anymore, I just know that love doesn't go away that fast. It'll fade for sure, in years time or may not. No one can ever move on from a loved one's death. Kahit nga yung alaga kong aso when I was ten, I still remember her, I still miss her, I still love her.

I left the undone dishes para maglakad at magpahangin. Safe naman itong village, there's a 24/7 security and CCTVs around. Kaya walang problema ang paglalakad mag-isa. I need to clear my thoughts away from the phone call.

I sat on the swing on the village park, looked up and watch the stars twinkle. Medyo malamig na rin pala, I forgot to wear another layer of cloth. My mind wandered to a certain someone.

Not Charlie... but Nikka.

I smiled sadly "Why?" I asked myself.

It's been a month of seeing her pero never naman kami nag-usap. It's just we're in the same place, with the people we both know, pero kami strangers pa rin. She's not even looking my way, not even a glance. Ang huling pag-uusap lang namin ay yung sa company when Dad asked me to deliver the papers.

The lunch we never had. Those times na I really wanted to approach her pero hindi ko alam kung paano. Yung mga pagkakataon na kami ang magkatabi sa games naming magkakaibigan. Not even a word kahit lasing na s'ya. Or kami nalang yung sober. Nagliligpit ng tahimik habang ang lahat ay parang mga bangkay na sa sobrang lasing.

Not even a simple goodnight Miel. I wonder kung may nagawa ba ako sa kanya? O talaga lang ayaw n'ya akong mag-exist sa mundo n'ya.

One whole month after meeting her, I got nothing.

My phone vibrated popping these sad bubble of thoughts. I smiled at the person who texted me.

Charlie ❤️

I hope you're not staying up so late. Have a good night Mi 💙

I decided not to reply. For sure kasi magrereply s'ya instead na matulog. I went back my apartment around eleven. Uminom muna ako ng tubig and did my before bed routine. Passed eleven thirty na ako natapos and finally my back is reunited with my bed.

I was about to close the night lamp when my phone dings again.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi? You asleep?

-N

Unregistered yung number but I have a small circle of friends and there's only one person I know who's name starts with N.

To: Nikka 🌻

Hi, who's this?

I bluffed, para hind halatang alam ko.

N: It's Nikka.
M: oh hi?
N: Just want to tell you, I'm going to your company tomorrow.
M: oh, take care.
N: See you.

Dapat ko bang sabihin na, I don't work there. Na ayokong makita yung madrasta ko? Or should I ask her to just meet me somewhere nalang? To say thank you for talking to me?

Why should I thank someone dahil lang kinausap ako? Isn't that a normal thing to do? Since we're friends right? right?

Friends... does she even consider me one tho? I heaved a sigh, needless to say, I stayed up really late thinking what to reply after that but my mind got messier each idea. She'd probably never talk to me again.