Maybe This Time

Chapter 4

Hindi ko akalain na tutungtong ako sa building na 'to. That I would risk seeing that witch so I could meet Nikka. Siguradong matutuwa si Dad kapag nakita ako dito. I sighed before finally stepping inside. The staff greeted me, pero bakas sa mga mukha nila ang pagtataka kung bakit ako nandito. The last time they saw me here was when my step Mom and I had a huge fight.

Dumerecho nalang ako sa conference room adjacent to my Dad's office. And as expected Rosario is there.

I greeted everyone but her "Anak, glad you're here" Dad said bago ako umupo. I smiled at him

I glanced at Nikka she's already looking at me but she's wearing a straight face. I cleared my throat "I want to see our new business partner"

I said to no one in particular. But I saw from my peripheral that my Father is happy. The meeting proceeded as scheduled. I can sense that my step Mother is boring a hole on my back. I couldn't care less kasi I'm constantly checking Nikka, sobrang seryoso ng mukha n'ya and I must admit it's attractive.

After an hour or so, the meeting adjourned. Dad is talking to Nikka sa mat bandang harap ng conference table. While I was watching them my step Mother decided to have chitchat with me. Hindi ko s'ya pinapansin until she said something that irked me "you like her" It was not a question but a statement.

Anong karapatan n'yang pangunahan ang nararamdaman ko? At anong pakialam n'ya sa buhay ko? I looked at her and said "Mind your own business, Rosario"

I heard her sigh "When will you forgive me?" tumayo na ako para lumapit kila Dad but she grab my wrist to stop me.

I swat it away "Don't touch me!" medyo napalakas yung boses ko grabbing everyone's attention kaya tumakbo nalang ako palabas. Para akong mauubusan ng hininga paglabas ko ng building.

I tried to run going to the parking area when someone halted me. It was all too familiar. I know that touch, I know that hand.

Nikka followed me, I don't want to look at her right now. Hindi ko alam if ready ba akong ipaliwanag kung bakit ganon ang inasal ko kanina. Naramdaman ko nalang na hinihila na n'ya ako ng mabagal papunta sa parking. Sumunod nalang ako ng tahimik. Nang makarating kami she let go of my hand. Hindi s'ya nagsasalita, pero nasa harapan ko s'ya and I was looking down my feet na para bang mas interesado akong pagmasdan ang mga iyon kaysa sa kanya.

But the truth is, nahihiya ako.

"I won't ask anything" she finally said "hindi ko alam kung saan yung car mo, but you can go, no one else is here except us"

I finally look up to her. Ganon pa rin, her face is void of any emotions. Bakit ba ayaw mong ipakita sakin yung totoong ikaw?

"I still have one more meeting" She said before getting into her car. Words escaped me, pinanood ko lang s'ya umalis. I stood there for a minute bago ako naglakad papunta sa sasakyan ko.

--

Weeks had passed and it's the same routine kapag magkakasama kaming barkada. As if I don't exist to Nikka and it hurts me. Why would she ignore me after she helped me last time? But why did I even expect? She didn't even texted me since.

"Hey, are you okay?" Charlie sat next to me. Nandito naman kami sa condo Dash. It's Bree's birthday, we did a surprise, all Dash's plan. S'yempre Bree was so happy,  at di ko maiwasang mainggit. They really loved each other. Kitang kita sa kanilang mga mata "Mi?" muling pagtawag ni Charlie sa akin

"Yes, I'm good, medyo pagod lang sa mga paperworks na pinapagawa ni Dad" dahilan ko.

"You want to go home and rest na lang?" She offers pero umiling ako, seeing these people makes me happy, except that Nikka is making me feel all these unnecessary feelings. Pero hindi ko rin naman ipagkakait kay Charlie ang makasama yung mga kaibigan n'ya, just because of me.

"Hindi nalang ako iinom" I said smiling at her. She nods and kissed me on the cheeks. Usually kinikilig ako kapag ginagawa n'ya yun pero nakaramdam ako ng guilt when my eyes landed on Nikka who's watching us.

And I swear, I saw something in her eyes. Was it jealousy? I'm not sure, but it's something.

"Don't miss me to much" Charlie said before joining the others on the table.

TJ joined me not long after "What's up?"

"The usual, alipin ng magulang" I said trying to joke

"So how are you and Charlie?"

"We're good, kayo ni Madz?" I asked na may halong tukso.

"Madz and I are best of friends, let's leave it like that, meanwhile you and that small creature, kailangan namin makikitang lalong mabaliw si Charlie? When are you planning on saying yes? or baka naman nagbago na isip mo?"

Nagbago na nga ba ang isip ko? Pero ang sama ko namang tao kung ganon? Kung sabagay, it's no different from what I am doing right now.

Napansin siguro n'ya na ang tagal kong sumagot "Miel, I know you're a good person, otherwise hindi ka naman magugustuhan ni Charlie, but she's human too, may hangganan kung kailan s'ya maghihintay"

But she said she'll wait for me kasi worth it ako. I looked at Charlie and all the things we shared, all her efforts, lahat nag flashback sa akin. I like her, I know I do. What am I even doing? Bakit ko nga ba pinapatagal pa?

I felt a hand on my head "Sagutin mo sa paraang alam mo, hindi n'yo kailangan ng live audience. Kailangan n'yo sincerity" that's TJ's last words before joining the others too.

Sumunod na rin ako after I recovered from our conversation. Tumabi ako kay Charlie and side hugged her while I whisper into her ear "hi"

I felt her hand into my thigh.

"Bawal yan, kami muna ni Dash maglalandian kasi birthday ko" Bree said to me bago n'ya halikan sa harap naming lahat si Dash. Sobrang pula ni Dash but she's smiling against Bree's lips.

Jo acted like she's about to vomit, same goes to Jai, while Madz and TJ captures everything. Charlie's laughing beside me. But Nikka just chugged a whole glass of beer bago tumayo ng walang nakakapansin kundi ako. I was just watching her retreating figure.

Gusto ko s'yang sundan pero si Charlie. I should be on her side. Si Charlie ang dapat kong samahan. Si Charlie ang gusto ko.

TJ looked at me and smiled. That haunted me for the rest of the night.