Warning- Inside thoughts "I love you, yet you don't even know" ~The Author
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It's been weeks and I fell hollow again. The event that happened that night won't leave my head they burnt me like no order memory, I have tried everything sleeping, pills to help with the pain I even let myself talk to Enzo for a bit. I've been distracted in my own mind to talk to anyone, Milo and drea come by every night to talk but I never replied. I love them but this was my fault I didn't fight I let it happen and I can't even look at myself the same anymore.
How the hell could he had done this at the age of ten when I'm twenty-two and fell myself fall apart. I have scars. on my body now, nightmare and anxiety that won't leave.
It's been two weeks and I can't seem to get it off my mind, their scars are still there, the bruises linger on my body and it hurts so much. I can't look in the mirror I don't even leave the room if I'm not getting food. Two weeks and I pushed him away. I'm doing this because I need to keep myself safe and I'm not trying to be selfless but I can't look at him in the eyes saying where are used to not after what they did to me and not just the Russians I'm talking about everyone my brother, my best friend, and even my mother betrayed me and expect me not to figure it out.
It's like an entire body has been changed and it just feels hollow. I been planning to leave but not because I'm running but because I need to heal alone, tonight I plan on leaving to London and getting myself together so I can kill Ivanov and come back to Enzo like myself again.
I know this family cares for me and I care for them which is why I need to go to have them forget I even existed to just be the lingering ghost I always knew I was.
I don't know where I'm going if even London will help yet I don't know anything but the fact that I can't come back till I'm no longer hurt.
I have two months, two months to get myself together to kill and hurt anyone that ever hurt me or them and then I come back, but I need him to hate me before I leave because if he hates me it's easier for me to deal with every single emotion I have. After all, I know that you'll never look at me the same way and that's what I want for him to hate me.
"Where to Ms. D'Angelo?" He mumbled playing with his chain in the front seat.
"What's your name?" I asked looking out the rain cover window.
"Forest, Forest James. Ms. D'Angelo." He looked at the rearview mirror with an accent.
"Well, forest take me to London and turn off the GPS." The look in his eyes said it was all his home.
