[HOLD] Promises; P.JS

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It was a rainy Thursday afternoon. You were going out to go buy groceries for dinner. I should've gone with you. It was my fault. If I didn't call you, if I didn't say that, you'd still be here sitting next to me.

"Jay!" I say excitedly into the phone. I hear him chuckle in amusement. "What's got you so happy?" He asks from the other side, each breath being heard through the microphone. A soft smile leaves my lips as I reply, "I'm just happy to finally spend some time with you. You've been very busy these past few days with promotions." He sighs and I hear the rustling of a plastic bag. Of course you would, he was shopping afterall!

"I promise I'll make more time for you, okay?" I can practically hear the smirk in his voice. "You talk as though I'm a dog and you're promising to make time for it." He laughs quietly into the phone, "I don't know, are you a dog?" I giggle. "Maybe, for you."

"Could you imagine our little children running around? I'd definitely make time for us then." He says and I pause. Children? Are we going that far into the future? I run my hand along side the edge of my pants and pick at a loose thread. I wouldn't mind. "Are you proposing we get married and have children?" I raise a brows, as if he was here to see me.

He goes quiet for a second like he just revealed something big he wasn't supposed to. "I- Well yes, I would like to-" A loud screech echoes throughout the speaker and into my ear. "Jay? JAY! HELLO? JAY? ARE YOU OKAY?" I start yelling, no answer from him. Please, tell me he's okay. Tell me it's just that an accident happened in front of him. I continue to call his name. Avail, no answer.

The line cuts.

It's all my fault. I should've kept my mouth shut. Now I have to live with the pain. Or do I? My hand tightens around the thick rope. Carefully, I step up with one foot. Then the other. Sticking my head through, I whisper my last words, "I'm sorry, I love you." And then what's done is done.