[HOLD] Promises; P.JS

To

I'm suddenly standing in a field of flowers, one I haven't seen for years. "Dad!" a 4 year old version of me shouts while sprinting at a fast speed towards a younger version of my father. Dad, I missed you. "Come here sweetheart!" He grabs me and kisses my cheek, but then his eyes meet mine. Not child me, but grown me. Right now. The seriousness in his eyes, the intensity, it makes me fear what he's going to say. "Yura, come here." Tears build in my eyes. Is he really talking to me? "Yes, I'm talking to you." He smiles softly, the intensity still in his eyes. Slowly, I walk towards him. There they are. My pink Crocs I wore everywhere. I remember what happened after this. I went home crying that I lost my favorite shoes.

I run into his arms, remembering the warmness of his hugs. "I missed you. I missed you so, so much." Nonstop, tears fall. "Shh, it's okay, I know. Why did you do it?" He asks and I freeze. Do what? He can't be talking about that too, right? So it truly is my fault? 

"Why did you kill yourself?" He finished his question. "I- I don't know...I couldn't take it." He pats my head, putting down 4 year old me who runs away towards our car where my mother sits in the front passenger seat. "It's not your fault." That was the validation I needed. I needed my father to tell me it wasn't my fault. With that I feel a slight sense of relief flow through me. Small butterflies start flying, coming out of their hiding spots by the flowers. "Take a walk with me." He motions with his hand then walks down a path that suddenly appeared, telling me to follow him.