[HOLD] Promises; P.JS

Meant

A bright flash of white turns to a pure blinding white. Almost as if I stuck my head into a can of white paint. Another flash is spotted in the corner of my eyes, this time a darkness. What's happening?

Everything disappears and suddenly I'm back to a week ago. 

"Tell me Miss Lim, how does it feel to be the cause of your boyfriend's death?" A reporter runs up to me, the movements all too familiar to forget. "I didn't cause his death-" I'm cut off by the large group of fans following from behind. "LIAR!" "YOU KILLED JAY!" "IT'S YOUR FAULT!" I stop in my tracks. Was it really my fault?

I'm flashed to a few days ago.

The tablet in my hands shakes as I read the comments covering Jay's death. 'It's all his girlfriend's fault, if she wasn't calling him he'd still be alive.' 'Why are all these bitches so thirsty for attention? I bet you she paid that guy to kill him for pity attention from the public.' They're right. It's my fault. I shouldn't have called him. He would still be alive.

I'm brought back to the white room. 'Was it really my fault?' The phrase runs through my head over and over again. A very loud voice in the back of my head pops up. "No." The familiarness scares me.

It scares me because it's a voice I thought I'd never hear again. The raw texture of his voice brings tears to my eyes. Where are you? How are you? Are you lonely? Do you miss me one bit? Or do you blame me for your death?