This is NOT going to plan (a TMI/PJO fanfic)

Epilogue (Izzy)

[trigger warning for suicide, depression]

this is very badly written and depicts depression horribly. i've started rewriting it but may never publish it.

"Alec!" I yell from the kitchen. Mom has just arrived from Idris and I've ordered Chinese to celebrate. Mom sits at the table, conversing quietly with Clary while Jace looks on, his arm around Clary's shoulders.

"I'll just go get him. He probably didn't hear me or something." I just speak to the room in general. Jace looks at me, his nervousness evident from the tense set of his features. He's worried about Alec, afraid that he'll slip back into that crushing depression.

Carefully loosening Simon's arm from around my waist, I peck him on the cheek before heading to Alec's door.

I'll admit it. I'm worried for Alec. He's become much more reclusive. The last time he was like this was after Max died. He was consumed by depression. His only spark of light in the dark that was the depression was Magnus. And now, if he is back in that horrible state, how will he do it without Magnus?

I come to a stop in front of Alec's door. I hear a shrill scream from the kitchen. Oh no. It couldn't be... Taking a deep breath, I knock. Quietly, then louder, with no answer. He's probably listening to music. "Alec!" No answer. Definitely listening to music. Please be listening to music. "ALEXANDER GIDEON LIGHTWO-" My voice cuts off in an abrupt choking sound as the door swings open.

I take a step back, but my eyes stay fixed on the horrible sight in front of me.

"M-MOM! JACE!" Sinking down the doorframe I tuck my head between my knees, trying to calm the nausea I feel at seeing it.

At seeing my beloved older brother swinging from the ceiling, anchored solely by the rope around his neck.

Footsteps thunder towards me. Without looking up, I gesture to Alec's room, my body shaking with sobs. I hear several breaths hitch and know that they've seen it.

Simon sinks down beside me, pulling me into his embrace. I gladly sink into it, crying into his chest.

Jace's heart wrenching sobs cause me to look up. He's holding onto Mom like his life depends on it. She has her face buried in his shirt, muffling her screams. Clary has her arms resting on Jace's back and she's crying too.

I feel Simon's breath stop for a moment and then he gently disentangles me from his shirt and walks to Alec's desk. Tears glisten in his eyes, a few falling. Having found whatever it is that he was looking for, he returns to my side. His warmth envelopes me as he begins to talk, his voice breaking.

"This says Those I Loved. I think this is A-Alec's... Suicide note. Do you want me to read it, or one of you...?" There's no answer from Jace or Mom. Clary looks up to Simon.

"R-Read it Simon."

Simon clears his throat and begins to read, more than a few tears falling as he does so. "Isabelle. Jace. Mom. Dad. Clary. Magnus. Even Simon.

I'm sorry.

I can't do it.

I can't live without him.

It's strange how I lived perfectly fine for nineteen years without knowing he existed. But once I met him, I couldn't live without him.

One kiss and one dare can change- or end- a life.

Simon, you were right to hate him. He is a good-for-nothing heartbreaker.

But I love him.

I can't- I won't go on without him.

I love you all.

And I'll finally see Max again.

-Alec." He lets the paper drop and sinks down to my side. He kisses my head and holds me in his arms. Mom raises her head and looks at me.

"W-Who is he talking about?" She hiccups. Holy shit. I forgot she doesn't know anything. She doesn't know that Magnus dumped Alec. That Nico stayed with us.

I look up and lock eyes with Jace. "Nico." We say together. Mom looks confused, so I beckon her over to Alec's bed and we sit together.

Over the next half an hour, Clary, Simon and I explain to Mom what happened while she was away, amidst many tears. Jace sobs into Alec's pillows.

We sit there crying, but after awhile I realise that there is something much more important to do. I snatch the letter from the floor and stand up.

I'm going to find Nico, and kill him. Slowly and painfully.

A/N That's it! Tbh I don't really like this chapter, but I made it for you. I can't believe that we've made it to the end. It seems like yesterday I started it, yet it also feels like five hundred years ago I started it ughh.
I would like to thank _Lord_Hades_ and -Rhea_The_Mother- for not only being awesome friends and amazing girls, but for being with me since the start of this book, voting and commenting. And an extra special shout out to _Lord_Hades_ again, because she inspired me to write this chapter today. Why? Because my amazing present from her arrived today (picture in the media) which motivated me to write.

Oh and I changed the note a little bit.

I love you all, no matter if you've been here from the start, or only just started reading this book, or if you're somewhere in between!

I think that's about it...

Oh wait. Who wants to read a little extra account on Izzy vs Nico? Just go to my profile and look for it . I probs won't get it up for a week or so, bit I'll  let you know I when I do, It's called 'Isabelle Lightwood vs Nico di Angelo' Original, right?

Anyways, I'm going now. Bye and ily!

-Apollo