Patronous of Bliss »-------> Prongsfoot

Chapter 2: Flashbacks

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder"

>-------} Unknown

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"Damn it James", He muttered, untying the 15th letter from him in that week. As soon as freed of its load, the white owl flew out of the open window, leaving Sirius with another letter to skim over before inevitably tossing it into the trash. With a slight frown, he opened it.

"Dear Sirius

What the actual hell? If you are mad at me for whatever reason, just.....tell me where I went wrong. Please. And please just be okay. Please take care of yourself, please,

Love you,

Frost."

"Love you", he whispered to himself, with a humourless chuckle, "Not in the way I want."

The letter ended up in the trash.

This déjà vu has been going on since the start of their summer vacation, after Sirius finally admitted to himself that his feelings towards his long term best friend James might be deeper than platonic love. And the moment of the epiphany was carefully stowed away in the Pensive...

Four robed figures were standing in a dimly lit room. The only source of light a bubbling, frothing, and potentially fatal cauldron around which they were gathered. None of them spoke, until finally, the figure with a mop of black curls stepped forward, awkwardly clearing his throat.

"So...I'll go first I guess?"

The figure with red hair stepped forward with a frown.

"Absolutely not, we haven't decided it yet."

James rolled his eyes.

"It was my idea, I should go first."

Sirius was about to argue when Lily cut in irritably.

"I'll go first, 'kay? I don't particularly want either of you to die."

Evelyn rolled her eyes at the scene.

"Can't we just wait until tomorrow morning and use it on Pete? No harm done."

James looked at her as if she killed his cat.

"Um...absolutely not. What the hell Eve?"

Evelyn scoffed.

"Well pardon me for preferring you gits to that one, and let's be honest, how many would miss him, other than us?"

"It's not up for discussion", James said frostily.

Ignoring the protests that rose up from the small crowd, he picked up the goblet beside the cauldron and dipped it into the potion. He lifted the cup up, almost filled to the brim. The remaining potion rippled for a second before going still.

He swirled the fluorescent liquid around a little bit, the purple glow lighting up his face. He was carefully observing the liquid, deep in thought. Suddenly, he looked up, and his eyes met Sirius' across the room. His grave expression softened, and he gave him a small, reassuring smile.

Sirius wasn't easily scared or shaken, but he couldn't suppress a thrill of terror as James lifted the cup to his lips and took a small sip. If brewed wrong, the potion could have fatal effects. And he wasn't ready to consider that scenario.

As the first trickle of potion slid down his throat, his body jerked forward, compelling him to lean on the edge of the cauldron for support. Sirius rushed forward and put his arms around him, as his body began to convulse uncontrollably.

After a few moments, the convulsions stopped as his body went still, sagging. Sirius pulled apart, trying to not let his worry show.

"H-how are you feeling?"

After a few steadying breaths, his eyelids slowly fluttered open, as he smiled, tiredly, but radiantly.

"Changed."

The rest of the night was an insignificant blur; the worst had already passed but the most vibrant part of it, at least for Sirius, was the feeling of completely intimacy when James met his eyes across the room, and the way he smiled at him as though there was no one after the convulsions. And at that moment, Sirius knew he was in a love that would his life. You see, they were supposed to get married to Lily and Evelyn after graduation. He was pretty sure he could accept Evelyn as the love of his life by then, but after that night, he wasn't sure anything would ever go according to plan, ever again.

Fucked up, I know.