When life changes hectically

5. When the life changed

Finland, 1918 5th of January

Alicia

Today is my 16th birthday... Those last weeks have been like a hell... Dad was so angry when he found out that boy was with me at the same room. Really. He just shouted for two hours straight. And Miina was even more difficult for me... She throw me out of house for 30 minutes. And outside temperature was over - 40' Celsius [Nowadays the normal winter temp. at Finland is from -15' to -30' Celsius] Ugh I just HATE HER!!! She is like the worst step mother ever. At that day my legs were so frozen and I got the flu! So thanks for her. 

But of course dad is now behaving so much better, because hey today is my birthday. So they need to play some fucking role... like now one would even care!! Miina even baked a little chocolate cake for me, from those ingredients that we do still have. I must say that she has been a little bit kinder for me after they calm down. Dad even speaks to Augustus. 

25th of January

Recently I have been ill. Daddy thinks thinks that I might be pregnant but he shames me. I heard that one night he was speaking with Miina 'Think about if Alicia is pregnant, that would be so shame to say at the village 'Hey, my sixteen year old daughter is having a baby!''. Then he said that my mother was 19 year old when she figured out that was pregnant with me, so what's then wrong with this??

Because of the possibility of pregnancy I have been at the bed rest. Not allowed to walk or even sit. Dad is so accurate now, if I want to eat something I need to ask them to take the food to my room. He says that if I don't rest enough I might get miscarriage. But at the beginning I thought that it was exactly what they wanted. And now they are so nice for me. 

Augustus does know from the baby and sometimes he visit at our home. But I get it... he also got his own live to life. Hah now Miina is then saying for him that he need to support me, although she at first wanted just to get rid of him. Ugh what a turncoat [A/N I really hate that 'Miina' character, why did I put her at this story anyway? She is the perfect example of the mean step mother *laughs internally * But luckily she might die during the couple of chapters... I am not sure but I think that it was that decision...] 

One morning My father had that serious talk with Augustus. I really just don't get it what dad hates him so much. He has not done anything wrong ( If my pregnancy does not count). I heard something but I was too tired to listen more so I did just fell asleep. When I woke up Augustus was gone and Miina was smiling next to my bed (that horrible witch!). 

So I don't know what is really going on... It might be a war but dad should have said something for me... although he never tell those war news for me! I just don't want to lose none of my family, not even Miina although she is not nice for me. I am just scared that this perfect family illusion does not last too long anymore. Something bad is gonna happen, I just know it!