When life changes hectically

6. 'It was privilege to love you'

Alicia

Even if I don't never see you again it was a huge privilege to love you. My dear Augustus I have not seen you for a long time now. And to be honest I am little bit afraid that something has happened to you...

Dad and Miina still have not told anything for me. I am 99% sure that this country is going to war against itself. The neighbors does not say 'hello' anymore when they do see me. My best friend is not talking to be anymore, and there are those weird men at this house. They are some kind friends of dad. 

It's now sure that I am pregnant, Just wanted you to know. I hope that someday we could life together like a little happy family. I don't want to live alone at this scary world. Finland never was not a place for me, but you learned me to love this little country. And now I don't want to leave this place. Yesterday night when everyone in this house was asleep I took some of the newest new papers. I took them with me to my room and read all of the events. The one line said that Finland has split into two sides 'reds' and 'whites'. There is gonna be a freedom war at here. I hope that you stay safe.

My mom did call yesterday... And of course dad was so angry with her. I heard that she wanted to send those brand new dresses for me but dad said that she should not. Dad just wants to hide the fact that at once in my life I used to be princess. A princess at her beautiful castle. I do miss that life so much. I miss my mom and my big brother. I have not seen them such a long time. And I do think that I will not be able to see them never again. 

I already have been thinking couple of names for a baby... If it is going to be a girl, then she could be Emily, Annie or Anne. If it will be a boy... well I don't know yet but maybe the next time we meet each others we will think those names. I know that I am not allowed to ask this question from you... but in which side do you belong the 'red one' or the 'white one'? I think that I belong to the 'white one'. The baddest situation ever could be if we are separated by those two sides. 

I got to know that my dad Olli Törnä is the leader of the white side 'The guard army'. He is an important piece of Finnish war leaders. I just hope that these two sides are not gonna kill each others. At least not yet when I don't even know that which one my boyfriend will be fighting for. 

So when you get this letter, could you possibly write the one back for me so I know that everything is alright?? I miss you so much now. I do wish that you were at here with me. Dad and Miina do not allow me to get out of this stupid house. I don't understand why? I know that this letter is going to be short but I don't have so much time to write it. Dad and Miina are checking me for a whole time. Why do they think that something could happen for me. 

- with love your girlfriend Alicia Törnä