NICKNAMES [1], jj maybank

CHAPTER 14

    SITTING NEXT TO JJ the whole day at school was torture. Something I once looked forward to was now making me hyper aware of everything on me or if one wrong thing was fucked up on me.

  I still can't look him in the face and JJ—he knows when something was wrong but he keeps playing it off and I can tell it's only a matter of time before he confronts me about it. Dean tried to talk to me and I gave him a simple smile and went back to whatever The Pogues were talking about. He probably fucking hates me because now I'm being weird with him. John B kept bringing up what I told him and each time I told him to shut his mouth.

  Amelia is sporting a bruised jaw and telling people she fell and really hurt herself. I almost want her to tell people I punched her across the face. Just like her boyfriend though, her ego is too big to admit that.

  It pretty much went that way the rest of the week, JJ got more suspicious and John B got more annoying.

  Kie and Pope have no idea but I want to tell them but JJ is usually there.

  It's Friday. A week since we had a gun to our chest and a week since Adrien beat up JJ. Of course it being Friday means there's a boneyard party—which I invited Sarah too so we'll see how that goes.

  I'm sat in my room getting ready for the party. Fixing my makeup from school but now that I'm fully aware that I like JJ, I'm trying extra hard.

  It's gross.

JJ literally saw me after a panic attack and called me pretty—so why the fuck am I trying so hard? I throw my eyeliner at my vanity and sigh. I absolutely hate this feeling and the likelihood of JJ liking me is small. He is my best friend who hooks up with half the island.

  I catch my own glare in the mirror and loud out an even louder sigh from before.

  My bedroom door opens and my mom leans on the doorframe. We haven't really talked since she said Weston is on the island but thankfully I haven't seen him or heard anything about him. "You okay in here?"

"I'm just trying to get ready for the party and it's not working out for me," A sarcastic smile on my face. "You look pretty—why all the worry? Someone cute?"

My mom was quite the troublemaker when she was younger and I briefly remember her telling me she too at one point realized she liked her best friend. "Mom? Didn't you say you liked your best friend at some point? Not Brandon or Justin—"

"Yes, I did. His name was Sawyer," She seemed to catch on and her face changes, "You like JJ, don't you?" A sad nod of my head confirms it. "Why so sad?"

  "You know how bad this is? JJ has beautiful girls around him all the time. What if he doesn't like me and I completely fuck everything up?" The stress makes me reach for my chest but my mom walks over and grabs my wrist before I even could.

"You're blind as hell—"

"Excuse me mother—" My mom crouches down so now she's looking up at me and still holding my wrist,"That boy loves you and not just in a best friend way. He looks at you like you hold the world in you. I'm sorry, I know you hate cheesiness but it's true. Adrien is gone," I can't tell her what happened—I wish I could,"Get JJ. I'd want him to raise my grandkid." I lightly smack my mom and she just laughs and stands up. "I won't be able to take the heartbreak mom."

  "There will be no heartbreak—the sooner you tell him. The longer you wait the more heartbreak you're causing yourself. Now—you look fine. Isn't Sarah taking you tonight?" I nod yes at her, "Great. I love Sarah—and JJ. Either or would work as your partner." I let out a snort at her accusation of Sarah liking girls. "I think she's straight."